Jul 30, 2014


The sun is shining, it is hot in my room where I just woke up. It is my day off! Today I'm spending it in the heart of the city. First I'll teach some biology to my sister (my inner nerd loves it), then I'll hit the gym with my mom (bonding time) and after that I'll meet some awesome old and new friends (party time). Sounds like a good enough plan for me!
So about these caps. I stole them from my summer cottage and I have no idea how old they really are. My suggestion is that they have to be before the 80's. I took the "winner" cap to work yesterday and I think many were charmed by it. How did I figure it out? I had swapped caps with Lauri after three hours.

dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you've been looking for has been here the whole time
if you could see that i'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why can't you see
you belong with me

Jul 25, 2014


I have just returned from Aliisa's birthday party hangout. It once again reminded me how time flies and soon I will be sixty and half of my life is over. It scares me. My life at the moment is going very well. I have a place to study in London, which also happens to be my favorite city, I have a flat in there, currently I have a job and all in all everything is in order.
I have said this earlier, but I try not to regret things, since it leads nowhere. However, now I have a situation going on that I know will end up in tears - either of joy or heartbreak. The situation would be terrifying and difficult even without an addition that I am moving to London in less than two months. (!!!!!!) Cliché, but I feel like I am standing next to a crossroad and I have no idea which path to take. And to give you guys a clue, I have shared a song that is quite apt.
I am so tired - physically and emotionally.
before i fall too fast
kiss me quick, but make it last
so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye
keep it sweet, keep it slow
let the future past and don't let go
but tonight i could fall too soon to this beautiful moonlight
 but you're so hypnotising
you've got me laughing while i sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
and i can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling, but please don't catch me
 see this heart won't settle down
like a child running scared from a clown
i'm terrified of what you do
my stomach screams just when i look at you
run far away so i can breathe
even though you're far from sufficating me
i can't set my hopes too high 'cause every hello ends with a goodbye
 but you're so hypnotising
you've got me laughing while i sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
and i can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling, but please don't catch me
 so now you see why i'm scared
i can't open up my heart without a care
so here i go, it's what i feel
and for the first time in my life i know it's real

 but you're so hypnotising
you've got me laughing while i sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
and i can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling so please don't catch me

 if this is love please don't break me
i'm giving up so just catch me

Jul 20, 2014


Last Thursday my number one ginger buddy and I threw a ginger party together. We watched C.S.I Miami (Horatio's legendary lines), sang Ed Sheeran's music and only ate orange food. It was pretty fabulous. Then we had a little midnight walk.
Earlier that day I had gone to the movies to watch The Fault in Our Stars. Like I predicted, I cried commendably. It is such a sad story, although I think I let out some other stress as well. I was in a pretty sensitive mood for the rest of the day. It is very difficult for me to accept the fact that young people die. Right now I am listening to the soundtrack, especially Ed's song. It fits perfectly, and I'm a bit teary at the moment.
ps. It is so fucking hot in my room at the moment!!!!
i can hear your heart on the radio beat
they're playing "chasing cars" and i thought of us
back to the time you were lying next to me
i looked across and fell in love

Jul 17, 2014


Today is my day off, but in a way it doesn't feel like one since I have about a gazillion things to do - good things though. In about an hour I will go to a PACE gym class and since I am as sore as I can get, it will be an interesting experience. Then I will meet Linda and go see The Fault in Our Stars movie and probably cry my eyes off. In addition, I have a ginger party (don't ask) with Jaakko. But first, here are some photos of my outfit from Monday when I met my tennis crew for drinks.
i tell you all the time
heaven is a place on earth where you tell me all the things you wanna do
i heard that you like the bad girls
honey, is that true?
it's better than i ever even knew
they said that the world was built for two

Jul 8, 2014


These photos were taken approximately a week ago when I wore my hair like that. I usually don't concider that I have fashion misses (well, at least after I turned 14), but I have to admit that that skirt is one. The print is nice, but it is probably the shortest thing I have ever owned and on top of that it's see-through. I only wear it at our summer house since there are no other eyes than my family's. 
Now I have arrived to our summer house and I will spend three days here relaxing. I need to sort through my thoughts. That will be interesting. I did not take my camera with me so don't expect pictures.
  i could feel it from the start, couldn't stand to be apart
something about you caught my eye
something moved me deep inside
don't know what you did boy, but you had it
and i've been hooked every since

Jul 7, 2014


For once some pictures of someone else than myself :-D I took these photos of Julia on Monday. She has always been one of my biggest supporters; my absolute rock. She has an unbelievable ability to know me deep down. Even if we are going on different directions in life, I know we'll still be best friends. I think our bond is somehow special. She is my PKI.
i would hold you in my arms
i would take the pain away
thank you for all you've done
forgive all your mistakes 

Jul 6, 2014


Yesterday's outfit. I felt like Carrie because my dress was so amazing. For once that photoshoot was actually succcessful so there will be more photos later. Right now I'm just too tired.
and i will swallow my pride
you're the one that i love and i'm saying goodbye
say something i'm giving up on you
i'm sorry that i couldn't get to you

Jul 1, 2014


Today I woke up before seven so that I would manage to get in time for work that started at two. I drove over five hours and then worked for seven. Needless to say that I'm quite beaten. However, I do feel rested now that I relaxed at my summer house. Everything is just so peaceful and quiet.
I read a book called The House at Riverton (suom. Paluu Rivertoniin) while I was there. It was sort of a mixture of Pride and Prejudice, Atonement and Downton Abbey. I enjoyed it very much. The ending was tragic and it made me think about unfortunate love affairs (once again). It really hurts me to read about lovers who deserve each other and don't need anything else beside love from their partner. And then something horrible happens. Somebody dies or they are seperated because of the class society or because someone doesn't approve. My grandma also told me about her friends who have not been lucky in love. One married her love of her life who couple months (or years, she didn't remember, but still) later died of cancer. She never married again. Another was in love with a German officer and they kept writing each other even though the man was married to another woman. She still loved him and never married. It kills me to know that this happens in real life, too. I need to stop dwelling in this. Besides in a way those women were lucky because at least they got to meet their true love. Even if it didn't turn into the greatest love story.
darling hold me in your arms the way you did last night
and we'll lie inside for a little while here, oh
i could look into your eyes until the sun comes up
and we're wrapped in light, in life, in love
put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut
for they're designed to be together
with your body next to mine our hearts will beat as one
and we're set alight, we afire love