Oct 28, 2014

I'M NOT SMOKIN'

I moved to London a week ago to start my student life, or to turn a new page in this book that I call life. So far everything has gone well even though I wouldn’t say I’ve made any new contacts just yet. Sure it has something to do with the fact that I am in a totally new and strange country where I don’t know anyone, but the main reason is this: I don’t smoke.

Every night since my arrival there has been a group of art students gathering under (literally) my window to drink and socialize. I have found it very difficult to go there and socialize because I don’t know what sort of an excuse I could give so I would have a reason to go to them. For smokers it’s a lot easier. They just go to each other and say: “Can any of you bad boys bum me a smoke?” or “Light my bar of toxic chemicals, please.” I noticed the same thing this summer when I had my first real summer job. Those who smoked were immediately friends – or at least in speaking terms – with each other, while the rest of us were forced to come up with a topic that didn’t start with “Do you have a lighter?” I actually remember listening some of my co-workers discussing about what kind of cigarettes they smoked. I stood next to them and thought who the hell cares.
But that’s just the thing; smokers always have one thing in common. Raise your hand if you have ever been the only one (or at least in the minority) who stays inside the bar when everyone else goes outside to satisfy their nicotine addiction. Don’t you just feel awkward sitting there alone for approximately ten minutes that it takes to smoke two smokes (because usually they do that)? We non-smokers have a pickle here: to be healthy or to always be sort of out of the group?
I do understand the attraction that smoking had before. During the 20s I bet it was exciting to spend your evening in a smoky bar wearing a flapper dress. Times were mysterious, ominous and rebellious then. Think about James Dean (okay, he was in the 50s) and Downton Abbey era. There was something sexy about it. However, now the times have changed. It is so difficult to smoke today since it’s forbidden in bars, clubs, restaurants, or in any public spaces. I guess I’m too lazy to go through the trouble. Besides, smoking isn’t glamorous anymore. Picture this: You’re spending a night out with the girls. Some of you need to smoke so you leave those couple non-smokers behind. You go outside (and if it’s Helsinki, it’s cold as hell and you’re fingers freeze. If it’s London, it’s most likely raining and you’ll get wet and your cigarette moistens) just to be squished with all the smokers. You do this at least five times a night. In the morning when you’re hungover you go outside in your pyjama. You’re probably still wearing your makeup from last night and look like a homeless person. Not very glamorous, right? And you do this just because you are addicted to toxic chemicals.
So to answer my question above, I would rather be healthy and focused on my career at the moment than fit in completely, especially detriment of smoking. It isn’t, and will never be, worth it.

Oct 27, 2014

ONCE A SWIFTIE, ALWAYS A SWIFTIE

I'm sure many of you saw this coming and I hate to admit that I am so predictable, but as you all, dear readers, know today my favorite singer Taylor Swift launched her new CD 1989. I personally had waited this for a long time and I couldn't hide my excitement once I walked to HMV to buy my copy this morning. I was rather nervous because her singles had been quite different from her previous music. I wasn't sure if I was going to like the change...
... but now that I have listened through the CD once I must say I like it. Not the change necessarily, but the outcome is definitely not bad. The first track Welcome to New York made me go "oh shit" in my head since it was sooooo pop, but I soon noticed I was smiling broadly when listening to the next track, Blank Space. All in all this album is very much Taylor, but completely different as well. This album has claimed excellent reviews from the critics, so I guess she has convinced big bad judgers. I'm sure I will like it even more after I listen to it a couple more times.
The only thing I'm sad about is that she's only written one song by herself, the others are co-written mostly with Max Martin and Shellback. This is no wonder since they were in the writing process of IKYWT and WANEGBT, which are her biggest hits ever. Nonetheless, I was hoping to have more "just Taylor" songs.
And do you wanna hear some deep stuff? This is a quote from her interview in British Vogue (11/14): "Because I've learnt, after 18 months of being single, that I can live without anyone. And, of course, there are going to be songs about love. But it's not to the level of complete and utter chaotic devastation that you saw on Red. I don't think I could make that album twice. I don't think I would ever want to."
The deep stuff is that - and I know this sounds lunatic - but I feel like our lives are somehow syncronied. Red album was - and still is - so very important to me because I too went through "a break up" (of some sort) during that time. I could completely identify myself with most of her songs because I felt so rejected, fooled, sad, lonely and hurt for many months. Now that I have finally gotten over it I feel like I can breathe and, most of all, live. Like she says, sure there are always going to be crushes and flirting, but right now I'm in a point in my life where I honestly don't even think I want to date. I want to concentrate on school and myself while building a home here in London. The Red period of my life was extremely important for me to live through and it taught me so much, but now I'm ready to move on and have a bit of fun. And I'm positive 1989 is going to help me achieve that.
 

 
 looking at it now it all seems so simple
we were lying on your couch
i remember you took a polaroid of us
then discovered rest of the world was black and white
but we were in screaming color


Oct 26, 2014

SUNDAY THOUGHTS

Everyone who watches this all the way through, I aplaud you.

Obviously I still need to practice being in front of the camera :-D



Oct 24, 2014

THROWING IT BACK

I saw this kind of a post in a blog (www.nofashionvictims.bellablogit.fi) and decided to do it myself as well. I didn't have pictures from the time when I was 10, but otherwise it's the same. This was very fun to do, but quite depressing as well. For example, it is very visible to see that I have gained quite a lot of weight since my first year of high school. But then again my style is a lot better. Anyway, let's throwback!
ps. There are worse ways to spend your Friday night :p
5 YEARS AGO
(2009)
 
 
¤ My first thought was "So much make-up! So much editing!" Seriously, not a single fourteen-year-old girl should wear that much make-up. In 2009 I finished my eight grade and started my final year in upper secondary school. My best friends were (and still are) Julia, Ansku and Sara. I was very skinny, at least compared to my current situation. I went to confirmation school and did not like it. If I recall correctly, Britney Spears was in Finland.

¤ I had a huge crush on an idiot.

¤ According to pictures my favorite clothes were my (totally fake) Adidas jacket, my golden tiger print converse and leggings worn with shirts (yes, I am ashamed).



3 YEARS AGO
(2011)

   
 
 

¤ This was the time I started writing a "fashion blog". I took pictures almost every day with my - absolutely crappy - pocket camera. I smiled in photos a lot more since I couldn't pose. I laughed a lot while watching my pathetic attempts. I experienced "a lot" with clothes. I remember feeling so cool in my red pants. Some of my styling choices were rather interesting even though at the time I considered myself stylish. Then I left to the States and it was there where I kept experiencing with my style, but didn't look stupid. Accomplishment. I also saw Taylor Swift live (the best moment) and played a lot of tennis.

¤ I liked couple boys every now and then, but had nothing serious going on.

¤ According to pictures my favorite clothes were those red pants, chinos, blazers and beanies.


1 YEAR AGO
(2013)

 
 
 
 ¤ Now we're talking. Apparently I had finally found myself. I put on a quite a lot of weight during finals in the fall. Especially before the Autumn term I tried all the new trends fearlessly, but alas, come the finals and I just didn't care anymore. I went barefaced to school almost everyday and found the comfortness of the yoga pants. In a way that was good because before that I didn't have the courage to go to school without making a huge effort.

¤ Oh yes, in the beginning of 2013 I experienced my first real heart break. That crumbled me down and it took a while to recover. I still haven't completely gathered my self-confidence when it comes to this stuff.

¤ According to pictures my favorite clothes were heels, wife beater shirts and crop tops.



YEAR 2014 UNTIL TODAY

 
 
 ¤ My life changed completely. I graduated and moved to London to study fashion journalism. Even though I had always been interested in fashion and clothes, I wouldn't have necessarily thought that I would ever study that field - considering some of my styling choices back then. I continued living in my yoga pants the whole spring, but now I do put a lot more effort - but the key is that I enjoy it. I got my first pair of Louboutins. I've met the most amazing people this year (not forgetting all the old ones, as well) .I had a knee surgery that slowed me down a bit. I have seen every one of my favorite artists live this year, so all in all this year has been rather incredible.
¤ I had a summer crush that ended in a heart break, but you know, who cares, I'm now in London and he is freezing in Finland, so who's the real winner here.

¤ According to pictures my favorite clothes were yoga pants, a black open back dress from Brandy Melville, black high waisted jeans and my Marco Polo boots.

players gonna play
haters gonna hate
i'm just gonna shake it off
heartbreakers gonna break
fakers gonna fake
i'm just gonna shake it off


Oct 20, 2014

I FELL SO FAST

It's been exactly four weeks since I moved to London. And to be honest, it's been two hell of a forthnight. I have learned so much and experienced adversitys and success. To celebrate this, I decided to put together a list of good and bad things about living alone and living alone in London.
GOOD:
# No one giving me the "I am so disappointed in you" look if I decide to watch another episode of Gossip Girl and not go to bed.
# I can eat whenever and whatever I want.
# London is such a busy and fashionable city that it keeps inspiring me everyday.
# People actually say "love" and "cheers". Love that.
# British accent.
# My new friends - and the old ones as well.
# The fact that every singer/band always comes here!
BAD:
# Everything is SO expensive.
# I can eat whenever and whatever I want, but usually I am too lazy to make anything. Like just a second ago I finished my salad from two days ago and I am pretty sure I will have a food poisoning.
# Morning and afternoon rush hour. My worst enemies.
# Everything is so far away.
# I can't call mommy all the time :-(
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 this town is alive with lights that blind, keep me awake
hood up and lace untied
the street fills my mind, can't control what i'm into
london calls me a stranger, a traveller
this is now my home


Oct 19, 2014

FIGHTING HARD

Today has been a difficult day for me. I'm actually crying while writing this. Life is so unfair sometimes. I found out this morning that my friend's, who lives in Texas, father died after suffering from cancer many years. I haven't kept in touch with her that much, but to hear that... it just really affected me. She is one of the most positive people I have ever met and to know how her family must suffer really breaks my heart. It makes me feel so grateful and blessed as well. I love my family so much and I miss them everyday. If anything, my friend's situation reminds me that every moment should be cherished.
Below are pictures of my new shirt I bought from Topshop. All that seems so pointless now.
 
 
 
 


 and what if i really thought some miracle would see us through?
maybe the miracle was even get one moment with you
come on baby with me we're gonna fly away from here


Oct 18, 2014

PONCHOING IT UP

Greetings from the midnight blogger! The days have flown by and I am so glad that tomorrow is Saturday because I have so much stuff to do. I need to do some UNI work and go clubbing with my friends. Right now I'm so tired that I'm just going to put these pictures here. They were taken (and unfortunately they were the only ones that we took :-( )on Wednesday when my sister wanted to go see the Big Ben and all that jazz. I'll tell about that later, but now...BED.
 
 
 

i hope you know, i hope you know that this has nothing to do with you
it's personal, myself and i
we've got some straightenin' out to do
and i'm gonna miss you like the child misses their blanket
but i've got to get a move on with my life
it's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry

Oct 11, 2014

BACK TO BASICS

I bet you're all screaming in your heads "What is this madness?!" right now. I know right, two outfit posts in two days! These ones are taken earlier today when I went to hangout with my friend. I am really happy at the moment.
Another thing that makes me happy is that I got two tickets to see ED SHEERAN on Wednesday!! The concert is sold out, and even though the seats are super high I don't care because that's one of my dream come true. Can't wait!!
 


 my momma she told me don't worry about your size
she says "boys like a little more booty to hold at night"
you know i won't be no stick-figure silicone barbie doll
so if that's what you're into then go ahead and move along

Oct 10, 2014

THE DAYS GET BETTER

It is a miracle - a new outfit post! I got my new friend, Aiste, take me a photo of my outfit, and on Sunday my sister comes here and then I'll have more, mwuhahha!
I've been a week in uni now. It feels weird to be an actual uni student. This time for real I can say that I'm studying for myself and for my career. It makes it more special, but unfortunately more stressful as well. I have started to realize how competative the journalistic field is and I really need to start working my ass off. Luckily I have made some great new friends already and I am so happy for that. It seems like everything is going to turn out well after all. :-)
Right now I should start to get ready because my flatmates and I are going to go out for a while. Have a fun night, y'all! (a bit texan never killed nobody)
 
 
 
 
 i'm thinking out loud
people fall in love in mysterious ways
maybe it's all part of a plan
i'll just keep on making the same mistakes hoping that you'll understand

Oct 8, 2014

IN CASE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'LL BE WAITING

I'm very thrilled about the comments of the last post, so thank you for those. :-)
Today's schedule looks rather blank. I'm going to get me a gym membership and start doing my homework for the next week. I'm very excited about school now. It's going to be super intense and hard and I'll probably have couple meltdowns, but so far I can't wait for all the stuff to really begin.
 
everybody wanna steal my girl
everybody wants to take her heart away
couple billion in the whole wide world
well find another one 'cause she belongs to me


Oct 5, 2014

THE F BOMB

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. You are about to hear a word that should-not-be-said; a word that terrifies men more than impotence; a word that ruins all hopes and dreams. This word may be a relatively new addition to our vocabulary, but it is here to stay. Urban dictionary describes the word like this: “What you attain when you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to.” Have you guessed it already? If not, here it comes: the friendzone.
This phenomenon has gone on forever, but lately it has gathered quite a lot of attention. We’ve all seen it happen in the movies, where the good and nerdy boy fails to show his feelings to his best girl friend, and then the girl finds a sexy bad boy to hangout with. However, she later realizes that she is really in love with her best guy friend. Everybody is a winner and justice has happened. Does this happen in real life, though? No. I can’t help but feel sorry for Ed Sheeran who has totally been friendzoned by Taylor Swift, or Joseph Gordon-Lewitt who is still “just friends” with Zooey Deschanel.
The idea to have a guy friend is appealing to us women. A guy friend is someone who you can rave about the stupidity of other men, hoping that, once again, he reminds us that men really are simple creatures. He is someone who you can watch scary movies with when none of your girl friends have the guts. He is someone who you can occasionally, but harmlessly, flirt, knowing that it doesn’t mean anything to either of you (or at least this is what we think). In conclusion, a guy friend is our therapist, movie buddy, and an excellent addition to our friend group. We don’t think about sleeping with them because we don’t sleep with our friends. That just makes everything more complicated, right? Because if we slept with them, we wouldn’t know what he thinks, what do we think, do we need to do something, does he like us, do we like him….See? And that’s just the beginning.
Unfortunately this is not how the guys see it. According to myself, my friends, and just plain facts, every guy friend you have wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to sleep with you if it was given. Guys don’t overthink, they just go with the flow. In addition, they are usually driven by sex. Plus I assume it is easier to hit on someone they know than a complete stranger in a bar. Win-win situation really, if women played by their rules. But like I said, we don’t sleep with our friends. I remember one of my guy friend once complaining when he was drunk how he is always friendzoned. I looked around and saw both of his friends hitting on some of their friends. One had feelings involved and the other – well, they weren’t good friends. In a way it is a compliment, don’t you think? He is such a good guy that most girls want to keep him in their lives forever. But then again, something crucial is missing – the sparks, and we all know that those can’t be forced. 
I have five really good guy friends and I can in almost one hundred per cent certainty tell you that I know they’ve all liked me, and there have been situations that would’ve gone further if I’d wanted to. So I have been the friendzoner. But let’s mix this up a bit. It is my duty to tell you that usually, however, I have been the friendzonee. Yes, I am a girl and I have been friendzoned a too a few times. We were pondering this with my friend S, and she suggested that it can be attributed to my personality. I am very easy-going, open, and I seem confident. I’m a bit loud and I laugh a lot, so maybe I always fall to that “great-laugh-good-friend” area. It might be my curse, but hey, the nerdy boy always ends up with the girl best friend, so maybe we friendzonees have hope. A girl must dream.

A WHOLE LOTTA TALKIN '

that face is priceless.

Oct 2, 2014

PACKAGE FROM HOME

My home in Texas that is :-) My host-family sent me a birthday package, and it was perfect :-) Here's what it contained:
 
 A LOT of candy. i think i died and went to candy heaven.
 useful stuff like super flurry socks and my favorite lip balm.
and this bracelet is definitely my favorite! I love charm bracelets and because this has a reminder from TX, it's perfect. <3 

i'm sorry if i say i need you
but i don't care, i'm not scared of love
'cause when i'm not with you, i'm weaker
is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?


Oct 1, 2014

INSPIRING MYSELF

It's my third day forced to stay in bed. I'm not feeling any better, so Friday will be interesting if I don't make any progress before that. Anyway, I decided to make one of my inspiration posts because I haven't done one in a while, I'm taking a break from watching New Girl (LOVE IT), and well, it's not like I have any new photos.
 
 
 
 
 

 alone in the night 'til she knocks on my door
oh no, wasted again, but i can't say no
baby tell me why, why you do, do me wrong
baby tell me why, why you do, do me wrong
gave you my heart but you took my soul