Nov 30, 2014


… and this text is not about “those” kind of fantasies because first, they are private and second, well, this post is not about that. It’s about those fantasies how you wish you would meet your “The One”.     

The other day I was in going home with my friend, E, from UNI and when we parted she said that she would text me if she met her “The One” in the tube. I asked her to specify and she explained that one of her fantasies is that while sitting in the tube, her eyes would meet with someone else’s and then that person would come to speak to her and well, that would be a start of something beautiful. Later in the evening she sent me a text saying that her magic moment, once again, hadn’t happened. That made me wonder what are my own beginning-of-a-perfect-love-story fantasies and, for some reason, I decided to share them with you.
The more I looked into this I realized how lame my fantasies were. I realized that I would want a sort of normal, no fuss and stuff encountering, but the one thing that was crucial to me was that eye-locking moment. The one where everything changes inside me. The one where I know nothing will ever be the same, and that is something I’m dead-set about.
My first dream situation would include me sitting on a bench in a beautiful park on a nice fall day. Trees would be in shades of yellow, red, green and orange. I would sit by the pond and birds would be in floating the water and random, but sweet, children would point at them and yell some cute stuff. I would smile and keep on reading my book. Then out of nowhere (but not in a creepy way) a handsome young man with a mysterious look on his face would sit next to me and be quiet for a while. I would glance at him and catch his eye looking at me. Then he’d start talking about the weather or something as awkward, which would turn into a deep conversation and I would just know that this is it.
The second one would take place in a cocktail bar or a bar in general (haven’t decided yet). I would sit there by myself because my friends would be in a toilet or making out somewhere with their one night stands. I would be bored, until I saw someone who looks interesting. He would be with his friends, but he wouldn’t break the eye contact with me, even though his friends would try to get his attention. I’d look away and soon he would soon come talk to me. The conversation would be natural from the first sentence (okay, so it would have to be a cocktail bar because in regular bars I never hear anything) and it wouldn’t be awkward at all. He would then walk me home and naturally, it would be perfect.
The last one is so lame, but I will share it anyway. It made me laugh, but in a way I think it would be rather cute. Okay, so in this one I would have had the most terrible day ever. You know, I would have been late from everywhere, missed my tubes three times, forgotten my UNI work at home, lost my oyster card etc. I would be so stressed out and pissed and would go to the nearest groceries store to buy me some ice cream (indeed) and be dressed like a hobo (messy bun, yoga pants, and a huge hoodie). When I’m reaching for the last Ben&Jerry’s half baked box (yes, this is very specific) another hand would grab the same box at the same time. I would be even more pissed and tell him that. He would have a grin on his face and he would ask why I deserved it. Then I would explain my crappy day to him and after that he would explain why he deserved it. Long story short, I would know we were meant to be because even though his day was a lot worse than mine, he would still let me keep the ice cream.
So, here are my three dream love story beginnings. Not that much glamour, just a lot of feeling from the first moment. And maybe ice cream.

Nov 23, 2014


In every single girl’s life there comes a moment when she realizes that life has to change. That happened to me about two hours ago when I was lying in my bed watching Bridget Jones’s Diaries and eating a whole pint Ben&Jerry’s ice cream (yes, I felt sick after that). I realized that I had hit the lowest point in my life when the exact same scene happened in the second movie. Here’s what I decided:
·         Don’t be single when you are 33 years old. Get out there and find someone who respects and loves you “just the way you are.” (Oh, Mark Darcy, you genious, handsome fella.)

·         However, if love doesn’t find you just yet, don’t give up on it and end up as a pathetic whiner. Bridget didn’t either. Of course she had her low moments – who wouldn’t if you are 33 and single – but most of the time she seemed enjoying her life.

·         Don’t fall for a cheating idiot. Even if he looks like Hugh Grant and has a British accent. If you fall once, don’t fall again.

·         Never drink alone. Especially a whole bottle of wine. Or vodka. That is just sad.

·         Do sing All by Myself from the bottom of your lungs when you are alone and feeling “all by yourself”.

·         If you make a total fool out of yourself, just walk and pretend nothing happened. However, never wear a sexy bunny costume to a family party. In fact, never wear a sexy bunny costume.

·         Lose a couple of pounds and give up Ben&Jerry’s. At least for a while.

·         Don’t listen to your friends if you know they are wrong. Like Bridget said: “First your friends spend years setting you up with someone and when you find him, they only try to find something wrong in him.”

·         Do go after your dreams. If you feel like you should be on television, then do it! And don’t do it just because you slept with your boss and he left you and you feel too embarrassed to go back to work.
·         If your mother tries to hand you her old clothes that look like curtains, don’t wear it. Seriously, just don’t.
·         Embrace your weirdness and quirkiness and be yourself. Accept that you are “always going to be a little bit fat.”

·         Stop making lists and go to bed. Okay, I didn’t learn that from Bridget Jones, I am just tired.

PS. I love Bridget Jones. She is an incredible character and we need her kind of role models who are real, and most importantly, look real and are not ashamed of it.

Nov 21, 2014


It's Friday and I'm staying in because I still have five six more days to get all my essays in order so I can kiss this term a goodbye. That means no fun for this weekend - unless someone considers spending too much time in the library fun, then I'm having a lot of fun.
Naturally I don't have that many new pictures, but I still decided to show you some of the highlights from the past two weeks.
By the way, I have to say one thing. Today people have made me incredibly happy. First thing in the morning I went to uni and during the rush hours some stations have these people whose job is mainly to keep some kind of control when it's very crowded. Anyway, on Thursdays and Fridays there's this old man who is the sweetest person ever. Everytime a tube stops he welcomes everyone to the Aldgate East station and wishes everyone a good day. I admire him because his job wouldn't be ideal for the most people, but he seems to enjoy it.
Then when I left the library there were some elderly singing carols and that just made me really cheerful. For some reason I am really looking forward to Christmas. In addition, my mom sent me a Christmas calendar yesterday, Aliisa brought me gingerbreads, and the Christmas lights were lit a week ago in Oxford Street. So it's starting to feel like Christmas :-)
Actually, I'll rename the post: Happy. Because those things below have also made me really happy.
 what made me happy is that my books that i ordered a while ago are starting to arrive
 what made me happy was that one lazy morning i had
 what made me happy were my "pink snow" nails
 what made me happy was me and Aiste doing our first vox pop. or i was happy that it went so smoothly and it was sort of fun
 me in action!
 what made me happy were my new boots. funnily enough it hasn't rained since
 what made me happy was to eat ben&jerry's, not worry about going to the gym and just relax and wacth an episode of KUWTK
 what made me happy was to have this amazing breakfast with...
 ... my best friend!
 what made me happy - and a bit puzzled - was this random cat that was on our court yard the other morning
 what made me happy was this incredibly cute and funny new music video and the song that i really think is just perfect

Nov 18, 2014


The anger and hatred for blogger is real, folks. This stupid piece of s*it has deleted most of my old pictures from the previous posts! I AM ANGRY. I HATE BLOGGER! After five years of symbiosis, it still keeps letting me down. I keep giving, but it never gives me anything back. Makes me want to cry (as does the British boy band's new single - it's just so good).

That's all. Blogger and I are going to have a talk now.
all photos from
 nothing beats the old t swift

i miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
and how you held me in your arms that september night
the first time you ever saw me cry


This morning did not go as planned, although it was quite predictable. I just couldn't drag myself out of my comfortable bed because I had stayed up too late reading a book for my essay. So I made a decision to sleep for two hours more. When I finally woke up, I started dancing to Taylor Swift's music, did my makeup extra fancy (my skin is like a potato field! i hate this stress!!!!), cleaned a bit, ate breakfast, blogged and layed a bit more in my bed, but now I think I've done everything to prolongue my lazy morning. Off to UNI it is!

 that's why you and i ended over U N I
and i said that's fine
but you're the only one who knows i lied

Nov 17, 2014


Aliisa came here late last night, but unfortunately she already had to go. At least I got to spend 14 hours with her and those were precious. It was so good to see my best friend :-)
Everytime someone comes here, this kind of a conversation happens:
me: "Hiiiii! So good to see you! I've missed you so much!"
the guest: "Me too! I'm so excited to be here!"
me: "Here, take my camera and take my outfit picture, please."
Well, it might not go exactly like that, but pretty much. And the saddest part is that my outfits don't (apparently! see the last two posts) change that much. This fall's definite favourites have been my oversized denim jacket, fedora hat and red lipstick. Aliisa said that I look like a Londoner - maybe it's the grunge look that does it?
I mentioned to her earlier today how for the past two years I, and the rest of the world, have worn only loose, oversized shirts and dresses. However, lately I've found myself eyeing more of those figure-hugging dresses for the upcoming party season. I guess it has to do with the fact that I have lost three kilos while living here! I know you can't really see it (because I can't even haha), but still it makes me feel good about myself and just a bit more confident.
 new boots in action!

'cause nobody knows you baby the way i do
and nobody loves you baby the way i do
it's been so long, it's been so long
we must be fireproof
'cause nobody saves me baby the way you do

Nov 16, 2014


I have enjoyed this day very much. My morning started at 9:30 when I started my laundry (okay, I didn't get up 'till 10 though...). Then I cleaned my room, did the dishes, ate some breakfast, shopped my groceries - all this before two and that's when my flatmates woke up!
Then I left to the gym and was exceptional there. I compensated that with eating a lot of pizza though with my flatmates, but who cares. Now I'm going to go pick up ALIISA who's gonna stay here the night before flying to Canada tomorrow afternoon.
I didn't have any time to do school stuff today, but luckily I still have 11 days (oh my God) and sort of a plan how to get everything done. I changed my magazine cover yesterday (these last minute changes are always good, right...) but now I feel more confident about it.
Next week will be busy, with a capital b, but fortunately I have some fun things coming up as well. :-)

 i just don't know who i really am, how it's gonna be
is there something that i can't see
i wanna understand
maybe i will never be who i was before
maybe i don't even know her anymore
maybe who i am today ain't so far from yesterday


“No, no, iu, no, ugly, well I guess he’s okay, no, no, YES” “It’s a match!”
… and then you get back doing what you were doing before – swiping.
I’m sure many of you know what sort of a phenomenon I’m talking about – Tinder, of course. Oh, our little friend Tinder who has been our newest app addition to online dating. Isn’t it fun and easy to judge people by their profile picture in the hopes of finding your true “match”? It is, I’ve tried it. The fun lasted about a week and then I got bored of it.
Some of my friends (and half of the world apparently), however, have been very keen on it. Some of them have gone on dates once a week, and those who were very into it went out even more often. I see no harm in that because dating and getting to know new people can be fun. My problems with Tinder began when it turned to a one night stand factory. Since I’m not that kind of a person, it didn’t suit me at all.
I think I first heard of Tinder when E told me about it just before New Year ’s Eve. She was extremely excited about it and confirmed it to be the best app ever. It still took me a couple of weeks to create an account there because I didn’t want to seem desperate, even though I really wanted to try it out myself. After creating it, I realized how fun it was. I could spend two hours sitting on the sofa and swiping people away from my screen. I remember one night when A, P and I had our Tinder get-together: we created a Whatsapp group and sent screenshots of some of the most horrific profile pictures I’d ever seen and invented punchlines for them. I don't remember ever laughing that much.
Like I said, the fun lasted for approximately a week. While my friends were setting up dates, I was too shy to talk to anyone. My hope-to-be soulmate list wasn’t that long either because my standards were relatively high. I did speak to one guy more than just the casual hello, but it turned out that he was a friend of my best friend’s one night stand. The best part was that his profile picture had been taken two years ago when my friend and his friend had hooked up. And the bestest part was that her blonde hair was sort of in his picture. I would say that was a turn off. Even if Tinder was new and exciting, it couldn’t find me anyone who actually was new and exciting.
So I deleted the app, but created it a few times later just to try it again. Those experiments never lasted more than a day. Memories grow sweeter in time, I learnt. My latest, and I can promise you the absolute last one, was when I moved to London and wanted to check “the menu” and ended up to be very disappointed once again. Nothing special; just guys wanting to hook up with me without actually getting to know me.
It wasn’t just my lack of interest in one night stands that marred Tinder’s success over me. It was more my incapability to talk – or worse, flirt – with strangers. In a bar it can occasionally happen because I can see the guy’s true reaction and see if he is into it, but with a cyber space between us… it was just too hard for me. In addition, I have always said that looks don’t matter to me that much and that I fall for the personality. In an app where everything is basically based on appearance, I didn’t find the concept suitable for me.
I do think the idea of the app was great at first, but its transition to a hotline for a quicky is just foul to me. And to be fair to the opposite sex, it’s not just them who transformed into serial daters because many girls I know of or have heard of became “as bad as” them. I wouldn’t say I’m judging because I have some sort of respect towards people who are able to have casual, easy dating without feelings involved because in my case it’s almost impossible.
However, an interesting development has happened in the course of two months, since a lot of people I know have deleted the app or at least decreased its use considerably. I guess it’s because somehow it’s always been sort of embarrassing to admit using it. I noticed this when this summer my friend and I drove over an hour to spend an evening at her match’s cabin and there one of his friends asked where they had met. The couple fell silent and never replied. I’m sure their faces revealed it though, since everyone instantly knew where this encounter had happened. In my opinion it is not good if you are ashamed of how your love story began. What version are you going to tell your future children then? Luckily, they didn’t need to figure that one out because after that night they never spoke again.
Anyway, not to completely badmouth Tinder I must say that, for example, my beloved sister has found her boyfriend from there. Apparently a relationship is not destined to fail if it starts from the notorious Tinder. But one thing is certain: it and I just weren’t a match.

Nov 15, 2014


I am completely aware that almost every time I buy something I somehow turn it to a "must have" experience. This time, however, I do have a legimitate reason for my purchase. Earlier today I bought Hunter wellies from Selfridge's because I was sick and tired of getting my feet soaking wet at least once a week. Only shoes I can properly wear right now are my converse and that isn't the most reasonable footwear for pouring rain (like yesterday...). So I made a decision to eat plain spaghetti for the next month and purchase these. And I don't think I - or my feet - will regret it.
The best part in these shoes isn't that they are 100 per cent water proof but that they are beautiful and simple as well. They are practical and will go with any casual outfit. I know they were rather expensive (80£) for my current budget, but I'm all about quality over quantity these days, especially when it comes to pieces that need to survive more than one season. So let it rain, London, as much as you like - my feet and I are looking forward to it!

but now's my time to take chances
and find my own wings
and whatever happens i know you'll be there waiting me

Nov 14, 2014


My outfit from today when Aiste and I were shooting our voxpox (basically interviewing people on the streets). I am still in love with my fedora hat, as you can probaly see.
Today I've been surprisingly happy even though I still couldn't get my bank account, had to wait an hour to return our microphones etc., and I had to walk in a pouring rain in the morning hence my feet were soaking wet for the rest of the day. But like I said I'm not feeling annoyed at all!
I actually met a Finnish boy today. Apparently he is a friend of my flatmate and they were doing some kind of a school project together. It was nice to talk some Finnish for a change. :-)
For the rest of the evening I will get some work done and then go to bed early so I can conquer the library tomorrow. How fun. (only two weeks 'till deadline!!)

everybody here wanted something more
searching for a sound we hadn't heard before
and it said: welcome to london

Nov 13, 2014


Yesterday was my day off so I decided to do "a day with me" post since I actually had time to take pictures. Quite a boring day it was, but here's how it went:
 The original plan was to get up at nine so I'd actually have time to do everything I needed to do. Well, I didn't get up until 11.
 My flat is so cold every day. I have to wear furry socks and my Texas sweater every time I'm out of bed.
 I packed my bag. Those books were on my reading list for that day.
 I ate some breakfast and read a couple of pages of Elle.
 After that it was time for me to do the dishes. These are basically the only tableware I have. We don't have a dishwasher in our halls, and God knows how much I miss one...
 Then I got dressed and headed to the bank. I tried to dress up professionally so I would look like someone who knows something about banks. Naturally, I didn't get the bank account yet because apparently I didn't have all the documents. After that I felt so frustrated and wanted to cry. Why does everything have to be so damn difficult? Why can't something go smoothly just for once?
 Then I had to re-plan my day and head to Oxford Street where my school's headquarters is located. I went to pick up the document that I needed.
 ... and I got it! The best moment of the day because I didn't have to wait for it at all.
 Then I needed to get back on the schedule and go to my school to do some work and pick up a microphone and an audio recorder for our following day's assignment.
 While I was in the tube I skimmed through The Evening Standard since my new job as a future journalist is to follow news fervently.
I really like our school's surroundings. It's so beautiful. I walked on the street thinking how lucky I am.
Outfit of the day in school'd bathroom. Classy!
Then I wrote the first draft of the first paragraph of my major essay. I am soooo screwd. I also ate an apple and two hapankorppu.
Even though I didn't want to, I still managed to carry my lazy ass to the gym. Before that I ate a banana and a nutbar. I did my basic routine, but somehow I wasn't into it. I did manage to spend almost two hours there though...
And finally I arrived home at around nine. I showered and ate my first proper meal at around half past nine. I also cooked an egg for the first time ever (in a kettle)! I finished the second season of Gossip Girl and did some research for our group project (that turned out to be pointless, yay) and finally went to bed around midnight. It was a very long day and I realized some things:
  • I need to find a gym that is closer
  • I need to start reading more fashion magazines
  • I need to start writing, damn it!
  • I should stop whining

I just got back from a talk we had at school with a publisher of GQ magazine. It was great and made me really want to go after my dreams. Now I need to start researching some stuff for our group project - and this time I hope it won't suck. Good night, love ones!

nice to meet you, where you've been?
i could show you incredible things:
magic, madness, heaven, sin

Nov 8, 2014

Nov 6, 2014


Today I curled my hair and wore a metallic green blouse. We did nothing important at uni today, but I'm still super tired. I need to take a nap and gather my strength so I can go to the gym and hopefully read couple chapters for my essay.
zzzz.. bye for now!

this is a modern fairytale
no happy endings, no winning ourselves
but i can't imagine a life without breathless moments breaking me down