Dec 18, 2016

HIATUS

Writing, and especially updating my blog (so essentially talking about my life) has not been easy lately. Sure there were the timetable issues and all that, but having been off' of uni for the past weeks would have been a good time for me to turn to my blog in theory. But I haven't and I don't know why even though I have photos and other updates I could share. It took me quite a long time to start this post as well and I ended up staring at this page for minutes before beginning to type. For awhile I didn't even know what I was going to say, but I guess the truth would be the best.

I've decided to take a break from blogging indefinitely. I don't know when I'll come back, but I most definitely will. It's just a hiatus - a word used so greatly for One Direction's break. It works for them so why wouldn't it work for my situation. This is without a doubt a decision I will regret later in life when I want to look back on my final year in uni, but right now it feels like the best option.

So so long Absolutely Enchanted. I will return - just wait and see.

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i'm notorious for you thinking you're full of beautiful instead of hollow
sugar on your lips, it's hard to kill
jagged like a pill, so hard to swallow

Dec 1, 2016

TREAT YO SELF

Thanks to Black Friday, I finally got myself a pair of white boots I had been lusting over since August.

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maybe we can be, be each other's company

Nov 17, 2016

THINKING

It's 1:10 at the moment and I was supposed to be asleep hours ago. However, my mind has been reeling with all sorts of things, majority of them relating to the future. 

These thoughts were sparked by the news I saw today in a blog I have followed for a few years now. The blogger finally announced to the blog sphere that she was expecting her first child. As peculiar as it is, it almost felt like one of my friends had shared her big news with me, but I guess that's what online has achieved - creating unrealistic connections. 

Her post then led me to think about babies and marriage and all that jazz. I know for a fact that I want those things to happen at some point in life because I have always loved the idea of being a mom. While I didn't felt jealous of her happiness, I was more impatient when that will be mine. Having said this though, I am aware that she and I are living in different points in life and I am still too selfish to take care of anyone else besides myself. So don't worry mum, I won't go and adopt a baby just yet. 

But more than just waiting for my brood to emerge, the thoughts regarding the more immediate future have also been worrying me. The days toward graduation are dwindling slowly but surely, and those real hopes and dreams would finally need to be made into reality. However, I am a bit torn in what is it really that I want. Do I want to stay in the UK or try my wings in the 'great' U.S.A.? To be honest though, neither of the countries really tempt me right now for obvious reasons. Should I travel to Spain and find a job there? That would mean I would need to get my Spanisih in order and with all the different uni projects it seems quite impossible now. Will I return to Finland? Am I ready to return? Will I get a job there - or anywhere? Will I even graduate?

Over-thinking as its best. 

These are some of the things that have kept me awake at night. Not to mention the to-do list that just doesn't seem to be getting smaller no matter how hard I try to work. I have developed a deep, real, unconditional hatred towards transcribing because I swear that's the only thing I've done for the past weeks. Our hand in is next Friday and I'd say I'm okay, but there's still looooooads that needs to be done. 

So, this was a school/future anxiety post. Next time I'll try to talk about something else more uplifting. Until then, ciao!

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gave you up about 21 times
felt those lips tell me 21 lies
you'll be the death of me
sage advice
loving you could make jesus cry

Nov 12, 2016

ARTSY BLAIR WALDORF

What to do when things go horribly wrong and there's no way of fixing it? You improvise. That happened to be the case after the first day of third year when Mel kindly tooked some outfit pictures of my bad ass editor-to-be look. Thanks to the darkness and poor object choice, the images turned out to be completely out of focus. I finally had some time to work with them and make them 'super artsy'.

The idea of the outfit was to channel one of the darling Gossip Girl characters - Blair Waldorf. That meant wearing a ruffle shirt, high heels and - gasp! - a headband. I think it worked quite well and the look did gain compliments.

One thing that is evident in the pictures (not necessarily in these because I chose them carefully haha) how I had put on weight over the summer. After six weeks and cutting down sugar, I feel a lot lighter. My new sugarless life has worked incredibly well and I think I've gained some control when it comes to the matter. I feel proud and happy. After all, Blair Waldorf is always in control of her life -except when it comes to getting in to Yale.

The week has flown by, but I feel like I haven't accomplished anything besides uni work. All the fun is in front of me though because tomorrow Emma, Nati and I will take a mini road trip to Bath! I've always (well, after seeing the Dutchess) wanted to visit. I've heard it's a beautiful place and apparently all the houses need to be built from the same type of brick. Like, it's a law. Can't wait to see that!

Have a lovely Saturday evening, you lovelies!

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never stopped being someone who loved you well
had to show you the hard way, only time will tell
revelations and heartaches make you realise

Nov 6, 2016

ROOM

Have you seen the film Room? If you haven't, it basically tells a story where a young mom creates a world in a room she and her son are locked in to. Sometimes my own room can feel like a prison, such as yesterday when after being sat in my bed for hours and hours transcribing, I absolutely had to get out. So at 10 p.m. I took a walk in the cold autumn air and I felt ready to return to my little cave.

Because that's what my room usually is, a haven. It's where I can be alone and do whatever I want to. I do yoga in front of the mirror, I sit on the floor doing my makeup, I struggle with the closet doors that just won't stay closed, I eat and sleep in my bed, watch candles burn, contemplate why all my plants keep dying (is it me or IKEA?), stack magazines without having the time to read them, and greet a fat, gray squirrel that visits me on my windowsill on a regular basis.

My room is relatively big, definitely the biggest I've had in London thus far. The main reason I wanted this one was because of the MASSIVE closet space I have. I've thought about it a few times that all of the three rooms that were vacant in this house, I was lucky to be shown this one. My growing collection of fashion needs more and more space and those little drawers that the other rooms have just wouldn't be enough.

So with the closets and some retouching the room has started to look like me over the past four months I've lived here. The last addition was my, now a tradition, inspiration wall that was finally put up this past week. Now I feel like I belong here - at least for a while.

So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my room.

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mut kuule kohtalo, mul oma tahto on
ja nyt sen varmistan ettet enää siitä kiinni saa
ja murran sun keskarin ettet sä häpäise mua enää

Nov 4, 2016

PINK FUR SAVES ME

Today has been a gray, rainy day in London so a completely opposite to yesterday's sunny, bright, brisk weather. The weather has its effected on me today because I've been a bit slow today. On days like these I need my wardobe to lift my mood and this time that job was given to my newest addition. Indeed, past Saturday I went shopping with my mum and got myself a proper statement coat, the statement being the quintessential word here. Knitted coat with a detachable pink fur collar, shining in all different shades of red. Thank you, Zara, you never let me down.

If you're still justifying yourself why to buy statement pieces to your closet, stop doing so. Sure, you won't use them every single day, but there will be days when they will save your outfit and even your day. The best thing is that the rest of the outfit can be low key thanks to the pop of colour/print/material/shape. You could even go naked and bare faced, no one will pay any attention to the rest of the outfit anyway.

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it's obvious you're meant for me
every piece of you it just fits perfectly
every second, every thought, i'm in so deep
but i'll never show it on my face

Nov 1, 2016

CATCH MY BREATH

Last weekend was spent in Finland when I travelled there to surprise my cousin for her 18th birthday party. Although this might sound like a spontaneous idea, I can assure it wasn't. This had been planned for over three months and my aunt actually said she doesn't want to have this kind of a secret ever again. :-D Everything went well though because my cousin was shocked to see me there, as were everyone else, too. It was so nice to see everyone and come celebrate our baby cousin's birthday.

As I had predicted, the trip was anything but relaxing. In three days I managed to attend two parties, meet four different people (unrelated to the parties), have a sleepover at my cousin's, go to the doctors, go to Cosmopolitan's office, meet my grandparents, go shopping, and hang out with my family. Honestly, it was like running a marathon. Sunday evening when I was finally able to relax in the sauna (<3) I felt so good. I had to fight hard so I wouldn't fall asleep during the newest Bond that I still hadn't seen. Luckily though, this time I was able to go to bed early and get sumptuous six and half hours of sleep. Getting up at 5:10 a.m. was no piece of cake though.

The return to London was, once again, a giant pain in the butt. Everytime I leave this country, I swear, it does its best to make me never want to come back. Everything went smoothly until we got to the plane where we had to to wait 90 minutes before we could take off, thanks to problems at Heathrow. I mean, I was trying to sleep so it wasn't too bad, but still. When we landed, they couldn't find a spot for us, and when they finally did, the stairs were missing. After 45 minutes I needed to pee so badly and the two hour delay had made me cranky and hungry. When I reached home past noon, I was so ready for a nap.

My plan was to do work in the evening and get my life in order until my friends reminded me that we had tickets to LCF x Elle event, titled "How to get a job in magazines". One could argue that it would be an important talk to attend. So I got myself ready (and pretty, too!) and headed out to the station. There I noticed that I couldn't travel because my balance was negative so I needed to top up (although my travel card was still valid...stupid London). This was naturally the day I had left all my credit cards home and going back home and then to the station would've made me late. So I called my mom to let me use her credit card info so I could top up online. It took forever, but I was finally able to do it and head for the talk...except then TFL announced that the payment will work from the following day. Unwilling to give up, I ordered an Uber. The two minute wait turned out to be seven minutes and I still couldn't find the driver. That was the time I said 'Fuck it' and left. I tried my best, but was not clearly meant to attend the talk.

Anyway, it's 2:30 p.m. already and the only thing I've done today has been transcribing an interview for my dissertation. I mean it took nearly four hours to do so, so yeah. My to-do list is a mile long, but I have already been able to scratch a few things out there. So, there's light in the tunnel.

The point here was to introduce my outfit from Saturday - and the killer highlights, can you see them? I wore this outfit to Jenni's Halloween party, but I was boring and didn't really dress up. I guess you could describe this as a mixture of a Lady of the Night and Old Fashioned English Lady. I loved it though, hope you do, too!

Now back to work. First though, lunch.

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catch my breath
no one can hold me back
i ain't got time for that

Oct 23, 2016

SLOW HANDS

I just woke up from my nap. I had covered myself with my blanket and looked like a cocoon. Waking up was so difficult, as it has been for the past few days. Where this insurmountable tiredness has come from, I can't tell.

The workload has become so exhausting that I turn off the lights before 10, but my mind still works for the next three hours. Should I do it this way or should I leave it? Which sentence should start the piece? I want to do it that way, but how can I? When do I have the time to transcribe? The questions keep me awake although my eyes won't stay open. The alarm goes off at six or seven so I would have time to make those plans into reality. I wake up tired and everything just takes so long.

Slow hands, indeed, combined with a slow brain.

It doesn't work.

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slay.


my mind's getting in the way
can't feel what my body says

Oct 16, 2016

PSYCHIC

Wednesday got a little twist when Emma and I quite spontaneously went to see a psychic. We've had this idea since July, but due to schedules and overall business we hadn't had the chance to actually see it through. On Wednesday though we finished uni early and all of a sudden we were on our way to see a psychic.

I've always wanted to see one just to hear what they would say about me. I'm not sure if I truly believe their abilitites (it would be awesome if they were actually true), but even if it is just a big scam, it's quite fascinating to hear what they 'read' of you having never met you. The reason why all of a sudden I was very into it was because one of Emma's sisters saw one and it was freakishly accurate and that made us both intrigued.

I would say Emma was more nervous than I was (because it's 100% true). I, on the other hand, was okay because according to Mel, everyone still has free will. So even if the psychic told you you were going to die the next day (although I've been told they wouldn't do that), you still have the power to change that. I thought it was reassuring if all of this was true after all.

I didn't really know what to expect, but I guess I wasn't expecting it to be as office-like as it was. There were no odd costumes, persian rugs or colourful curtains - and no crystal balls. Instead, there was a table and two chairs and two stacks of cards. Simple, but in a way the mundane interior made me take it more seriously than if it was a huge performance.

So what went down in that room? Not revealing all the details, here are the main points:

1. Right now my life is changing gravely, but it's going to be okay because the archangel Gabriel is protecting me (Hi there!).
2. I'm going to go back to school, but my next degree is not going to be as long (so perhaps a masters is calling me) (in my head I literally went 'Oh, nooooo'.)
3. I'm going to write a book (highly likely, as a matter of fact).
4. There is a relationship coming, but first I need to love and cherish myself and have some fun (funny, because although inferential, I've realised that more strongly than ever during the past three months).
5. Health-wise everything is okay and my attempt to be healthy actually works out (self-confidence just went up a notch!).

I would say those are the five key points, excluding some details regarding love life. I would say that the psychic definitely hit home with the part that my life is in a middle of a change and deets about my relationships. Also, I thought it was interesting that she would mention the book because that has been on my mind for the past five years. In addition, although going back to school after graduation seems like a horrible idea, I wouldn't be so surprised if that actually ended up happening. Right now though I detest the idea, but hey, my mind has changed before.

I think it's everyone's own decision whether to believe it or not. Emma and I actually thought that it was quite therapeutic and wouldn't mind trying it out again in a few years time. As an experience it was a very positive one and I'm so glad we did it. If nothing else comes out of this, at least Emma managed to scratch one thing out of her bucket list!

ps. These are pictures from Nice when my body, hair and face were not cooperating. Instead, I let the dress shine and live its own life. That dress must be the best sale item I've ever bought. Just look at it move!

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my friends all tell me maybe i should seek a psychic
they tell me just beware i may or may not like it
but either way i know i need to get some answers

Oct 10, 2016

IN THE DAYLIGHT I COULD SWEAR WE'RE THE SAME

I've come back from uni absolutely drained. Although today was not a tough day per se, I seem to be exhausted for some reason. A quick recap: Diana and I went to see a Picasso portraits exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery, followed by a Shift meeting, and then writing/goofing around with Mel in the news room. Now I'm tucked in bed with a huge cup of tea, ready to watch an episode or two of Desperate Housewives and fall asleep. Good night, world.

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can't get enough of this song



there'll be peace in the city tonight
peace in the city tonight
for when i'm gone i hope they get it right

Oct 9, 2016

NAUTICAL AND NICE

Well hello, blog world.

So uni started on Monday and now my disappearing has nothing to do with the lack of material (actually have tons of it) but the fact that Monday was a proper reality check how important this last year is. We have a dissertation to write on top of the journalistic final major project, and a few reports to write before that... On top of that, our class is now running the school magazine (Shift) so on Monday I found myself agreeing to write about six key trends seen at Paris Fashion Week for Wednesday. Immediately I remembered how I was also supposed to finish two Cosmopolitan articles that week and do three shifts at the pub. So basically that's what I did this week, what about you? :-D

Next week is not looking any better. Again, I have freelance work to do and Shift (going to just start calling the uni magazine that) requires three articles by Wednesday and I should be working on two other articles, and my proposal, and transcribe, and again work three shifts at the pub........... *explodes*

By the way, I'm quitting the pub. As you can probably read between the lines, I don't have enough time to do everyhing and this year I actually want to be on top of things. Shocking, eh? Besides, I'd choose freelance work any day over crappy hours and even crappier salary so I think this is only the right decision. Having said that though, I have enjoyed working there (for the most parts) and have made some great new friends. It was the right job for the summer, but behold, summer is here no more. Time to move on.

Other than the unbelievable hastiness, my life is pretty awesome right now. My London friends are even more important to me than ever, our class seems like we're all working together for the first time, I haven't eaten any sugary stuff for eight days (yay me!), haven't drunk alcohol for six weeks (makes me sound like an alcoholic haha) and I'm again enjoying dressing up and making an effort for school. Besides, I like keeping myself busy so I have a good feeling about this year. Hopefully my feeling is correct!

This outfit was taken by Mia on Tuesday when we hangout after a long (well, six weeks) break. Although fall has definitely arrived to London, I was still channeling a proper summery sailor look. I was even wearing an anchor necklace that Julia gave me for my 18th birthday! I am so in love with my new velvet cap, hence, I have worn it like four times this week. I have so many posts in mind so I will do my best to manage my time so I can come and update you guys. Love you all, if there are still people reading this! :-)

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he never walks away, he never asks for money
he takes care of things, he loves me
piece by piece he restored my faith
that a man can be kind and a father could stay

Sep 28, 2016

I'M BECOMING MY OWN SALVATION

I'm starting my 22s with a bang.

Introducing the brownie.

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i'll walk through fire
i'll begin again
i'll burn through my skin

Sep 25, 2016

BATTLE CREEK FALLS

Today took an unexpected turn when the sky suddenly cleared and sun came out of hiding. I guess sometimes it helps to complain a little. Although we didn't make it to Alpine Slides, we took a magnificent hike following a stream all the way up to a waterfall. And yes, I felt like Pocahontas standing (almost) on the edge.

The older I get, the more I appreciate nature and all its creations. There's nothing as humbling as standing on a mountain, taking in the smell of the trees, hearing the roar of the river, and seeing the many colours of the leaves, burning brightly in their autumn coats. What a great moment to be alive.  

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come roll in all the riches all around you
and for once never wonder what they're worth

Sep 24, 2016

HAPPY LITTLE HIPPIE

It's currently raining in Utah for the third day in a row.

Let's just let that sink in.

It's also really cold in here. It's funny to think that three days ago it was +33 degrees and now it's merely +10. Utah in general has been so different compared to Texas. The climate, as you can see, changes over night and the mountains that isolate you whereas in Texas it's flatter than flat. The people are also different. I'd say they are trendier and also more liberal (although I've been spending most (all) of my time with Mormons so one could argue that). All in all though it's been a great experience and I am so lucky that I got to do this. Oh, uni work? I've actually done it!

Today is my last official day here as I'm leaving on Monday morning and Sundays don't really count because then we have church and the whole day is kind of dedicated to rest. That's why I'm really sad that we didn't get to do Alpine Slides today like we had planned becuase it's cold, rainy, and foggy. That just means that I have to come back one day, hehe.

As I said, I'm heading back to Texas on Monday and then to London on Wednesday. I can't believe I've spent almost five weeks here. I'm sure it will feel weird going back to the UK and start uni again. Right now the thought seems exhausting, but... well, hopefully it will go alright.

I'm feeling really tired now so I just might take a nap. After all, it's raining outside - what a perfect excuse.

ps. This is my church outfit from two weeks ago.

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something 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman

Sep 22, 2016

MY VERY FIRST YSL

And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, my best friend is better than your best friend.

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Thank you, Julia. For everything.




jos sä tahdot niin, tulen kallioiden läpi
jos sä tahdot niin, whatever makes you happy
...
mutta ilman rakkautta hukun öihin sekaviin
ja ilman rakkautta, no niin
ilman rakkautta olemme puolitiessä helvettiin

Sep 20, 2016

22

Because today I'm feeling 22.





we're happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way
it's miserable and magical, oh yeah
tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it's time

Sep 18, 2016

BRUSHING

I have been lusting over proper makeup brushes for a good while now. When I started paying more attention to cosmetics about a year ago, I dug up the four brushes I found from my drawer. Used only a few times during their lifetime (varying from five to almost ten years) they served well when I was still practicing, but it was quite obvious that they would need to be replaced.

The hunt for brushes took about six months. I knew I wanted good quality ones because there was no point buying crappy ones to replace the crappy ones. The issue was that often quality brushes - so, natural hair ones - are ridiculously expensive. I was not prepared or willing to pay £20 a brush, even if I wasn't a student. So when I found this Sonia Kashuk set in Target I was sold. The set included 12 brushes and I got it for $40. I thought that was quite reasonable, considering that they were all (except one) natural hair and, dare I say, so darn pretty. I love the wooden handles and the little details.

I've had the set for two weeks now and I couldn't be more pleased. I don't know if they are the best brushes ever, but they work just fine with me. I have yet to wash them so I don't know how they will change after that, but I'm hoping that they will stay the same. I hope that these will last years with me. Fingers crossed.

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lost my senses, i'm defenseless
her perfume's holding me ransom
sweet and sour, i devour
lying here i count the hours