Jan 31, 2016

A LEARNING CURVE

Two weeks ago I found out that I was being criticised because of something I had written in this blog. The subject matter had been told sarcastically and with an – obviously poor – attempt of humour, but had been misunderstood as real and apparently ridiculous. After experiencing everything from confusion to anger to hurt and to sadness, I rose from the self-pity and understood that every writer has to experience their first encounter with the haters and keep on moving forward.

I would be lying if the situation hadn’t made me question my writing style and my abilities as a writer in general. Prior to the incident I had considered this particular style being my forte because of the positive comments I had received from my friends. After hearing about this I made a round of calls and confronted my friends at one a.m. their time (I do apologise) whether their feedback had been genuine and if my texts truly were enjoyable. A solid ‘yes’ is what I got.

When I was finished the interrogations, I felt confused. I knew that I would need to stand behind my writings because – my style being so personal – that would mean standing behind my own choices and experiences. I was personally proud of my texts and imagined them being an easy but a pleasant read to the audience they were aimed at. However, I also felt like I had failed and that I had been living in a false reality. Turns out in a way I had because I had been naïve to think that my texts would never receive criticism or negative comments. I guess I didn’t feel worthy enough as a writer to be talked about outside of my inner circle.

One of the people I talked to was my mother. While we were finishing, she pointed out that I didn’t really sound as depressed or upset that I had let her believe in the beginning. I realised then that I really wasn’t. As a matter of fact, I realised that I was damn proud of what I have created, experienced and lived through – be it in this blog or elsewhere in life. I realised I am someone who isn’t a dating guru or an expert, who doesn’t know everything about life, love or fashion, and who sometimes wonders the most random, pointless and supposedly deep things and says them out loud. Because someone has to.

The word that kept coming to me that week was ‘truth’. As I’m studying to be a journalist I essentially need to tell the truth. I realise that sometimes it can be subjective and is best to let untold, but when it comes to real life stuff and essentially to a normal girl living her life there is no point sugar coating it. The world gets enough photoshopped, dramatized or staged images, both in television and ‘reality’ shows and platforms based on ordinary people (blogs, Instagram, Twitter, etc.). I don’t know about you, but I’m craving for a more honest and open site or an app that isn’t concealed with advertisements, double filters and #myLifeIsPerfect tags. This applies to both images, but in this blog particular, the written content.

We all know life isn’t perfect. We get stood up, we feel alone, we eat two donuts in a row, we miss our tube, we get writer’s block, we feel like we don’t fit in, we buy fashion magazines for £20 but end up watching Netflix instead. You’ve probably been there and I want you to know that I have as well – last week as a matter of fact. I am not perfect and for some reason I find it really important to say it out loud in here. Because one day an insecure 14-year-old might find this blog and feel low for not having a boyfriend, or been able to get over her ex, or feeling alone on her birthday, I want her to know that there once was a girl who in her twenties was still struggling to find that Mr. Right and who indeed felt alone on her birthday. And that all that was fine and she survived and so would she.

I won’t deny that hearing criticism didn’t bring me down. It did at first, but the final result was worth it. I now feel more confident of what I’m doing and I know I will be a better writer because of it. I am here to hopefully inspire, entertain and in the best case scenario help you, but if everything else fails, I will tell how badly my date went and we can all laugh together. Besides, the greatest lesson in life is that haters are always going to hate (hate hate hate), but we just have to shake (shake shake shake) it off.


PS. Earlier this week I received my first comment in this blog who wasn’t a friend of mine. It made me really happy so I want to thank you for reading Love, Letters and Louboutins.

REVIVAL

Hello again my dearest ones!

It's been a while when I last posted, but whoa, have I been busy. The last weeks at Look we're busy as hell and I really understood why they needed so many of us interns to be there. The days flew past and I was always so dead after work that I barely managed to make myself dinner and watch tv. Don't worry, I would never neglect food though.

Soon it was the last week and I noticed being on the move every single day that I even wondered how I would find time for packing. Don't worry, I managed to do that also, but the struggle was real. My week consisted of dates with my uni girls, Mia, my neighbours, my flatmate and finally my coworkers with who, I must point out, ended up bonding. I hope that we stay in touch after I've returned from Helsinki. But basically this week was about throwing away money and drinking way too many cocktails. I enjoyed it very much, but I can't say the same from my bank account.

However, now I am back in Helsinki and the weekend has been dedicated to chilling before starting my other internship at Cosmopolitan tomorrow. I am immensely excited about that and hope that it will be a successful experience. Now that I'm here I will be able to post more outfit pictures thanks to my sister. If I recall correctly, I didn't document any of my outfits in January. That definitely needs to change here.

Another thing that needs changing is my body. Tomorrow first thing after work I'm going straight to the gym. The plan is to start working out five times a week in order to look fab for Nice. I have this new enthusiasm for it and hoping it will carry me all the way to my 100th birthday haha.

Anyway, the smell of tex mex is luring me at the moment and I am unable to resist anymore. I'll get back to you next week to let you know how I'm doing. Not that anyone is interested xd. Okay, I'm out.

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i feel like i've awakened lately
the chains around me are finally breaking
i've been under self-restoration
i've become my own salvation

Jan 20, 2016

NUDES AND PERFECT BASES

A few days ago Julia ordered makeup to my house because the post fees are cheaper. Soon I noticed that I was adding some products on her list. I got all these - a bronzer, blush, mascara, two lipsticks and a smokey eye palette - for £12! I've used them already and they are so good. I created the perfect nude makeup yesterday and it once again made me want to put more effort on my appearance.

Last night I also finished watching HIMYM. Nine season later I can say that that show is one of the best ones there is. I think they had made it special with their unique ideas. Even though I didn't like the ending, I felt really sad after the finale. I know the characters will stay with me and I'm already using the catchphrases 'Challenge accpted!' and 'Self five' on a daily basis. And since it now feels like I've lost a bunch of friends, the song below is dedicated to the time we spent together. I would walk 500 miles!!!!!!

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i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more
just to be that man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door

Jan 17, 2016

FITNESS AND ALL THAT SHIT

It's that time of the year when some of us start desperately plan for a change, be it in their appearance or other ways of life. I admit being guilty to this almost every year and this year, unfortunately, is not an exception. Having just finished a five day streak of watching HIMYM (yes, I now know who the mother is and yes, I was disappointed) and eating frozen pizzas and Ben&Jerry's. Needless to say, I now feel a bit sick - emotionally and physically. So it's time for me to get fit again!

I've noticed that fitness comes to me in cycles. In a course of a year I had a proper excercise pike from last March to June when I was doing this HIIT program and I was really into it. Then came summer, work and laziness. When I came back to London in September, I ran several times a week, but then uni and fall started so weather and everything got darker. Dancing lessons once a week saved me from boredom and immobile state, but since Christmas I haven't done anything. That's all about to change when I get back to Finland in two weeks and get myself a gym membership to get myself a summer body. That will be necessary because Jenni, Birta and I are planning on going to Nice for a holiday and I would really much like to look good in a bikini. Heck, if i manage to look presentable in a bikini, I might even buy myself a new pair. Haven't done that in literally six years.

For this year my #goals body is Kylie Jenner's. Having finally become content with the size of my butt, I've decided to make it the center of my body. I like the narrow waist she has and I don't know, I just think her body is quite perfect right now. So that will be my goal for the summer.

Since I won't be starting the FITNESS until February, I think I will need to do some cleansing before that. I will try to be vegan (excluding eggs) until I come back to Finland. Let's see how that works.

To a new beginning vol 3029311!

collage1 – kopio
collage – kopio

all photos weheartit.com






i set fire to the rain
watched it burn as i touched your face
well it burnt while i cried 'cause i heard screaming out your name

WHAT IS IT ABOUT BRITISH MEN?

I returned back to my small room in London a week ago. Even if the flight itself wasn’t the smoothest of them all, I would say that the journey from the airport to my flat wasn’t as terrible as I had expected. Indeed, while I was agonising about my 24 kg suitcase in the dim lit tube tunnel, two (!!) men offered to help me to carry my baggage up the stairs! Never ever has that happened in Finland (even if my dad does carry it, but it really is his duty). It really made me, once again, appreciate British men and for the past week I have wondered what is it really about British men that really makes them… so irresistible.

I suppose my example above proves that British men are incredibly polite. In fact, all Brits are, and it is a nice comparison to Finns. I think Finns are globally described as polite and taciturn people, and I bet that’s true compared to some, but oh boy, I have too many times come across a mean middle-aged woman in Helsinki that I have lost all hope in Finns politeness. Here, however, it’s a whole new ball game. Whenever I accidentally bump into someone, it’s usually the bumpee who apologizes (even when it doesn’t his fault!). Also, very often men in the tube let women sit first, which I think is a very polite thing to do. I’d say overall Brits win in the game of politeness.
There is something about how most British men carry themselves. I’m not sure if it’s that they are purely confident about themselves, or if it has to do with the royal background when everyone had to have a killer posture, but there is something sexy about that. They don’t just slog and watch their feet, but actually walk like they have a direction in their life. I’m not implying that all Finns are lost (literally and not literally), but it feels like Brits have a totally different aura around them. Confidence – but not cockiness – is what turns most women on.
I have to admit that the main reason why British men are so irresistible is because most of them are terrifyingly good looking. I swear, on Friday morning when I was on my way to class, I saw at least five men who were, frankly, insanely hot. I don’t think it was even the time of the month when my overly eager body wants to reproduce, but that day pretty much everyone I saw, aged 20 to 35, looked like they were taken out straight from a fashion magazine. I wonder why that is? I suppose it has something to do with the fact that they all either look like they are brooding artists with a point to prove (and don’t we women love that) or like a copy of Christian Grey (messy hair slicked back, a suit, something mysterious in their eyes – and money). Those two types – for me, at least – are the ones that make my heart melt.
However, I am not saying that men in Finland are ugly, not at all. I actually happen to like blonds with shiny blue eyes, and stereotypically Finland is like a super market to them. You can find them in every shapes and sizes. Then again, I will say that the ratio of an actually good looking man is a lot higher in Britain than in Finland. No hard feelings, I can still fall in love with a Finn, but right now I am not complaining that I get to enjoy the sight of a fine British man.

Jan 13, 2016

KILL 'EM WITH KINDNESS

Today has been such a different day. I got to attend a shoot at my internship! I really liked it because it was an interesting experience and something that I'd never tried before. As I want to become a writer some point in life, being a stylist isn't necessarily on my radar, but I enjoyed this immensely though!

We also got out early so I managed to get home before it was pitch dark like it usually is. Because of this I photographed my newest purchases from Asos sales. That ruffled crop is my absolute favorite and it suits me well. It's one of those statement shirts that can be worn either to work or a party. The high waisted denim skirt had been on my list to buy and since it was only £7 I went for it. It's very cute. The white shirt might look a bit odd, but it's actually quite cool when it's on. It has massive slits in the sides which give it the unique factor. It's an apron in the front and cape from the back. Or that's how I feel. What do you think of these garments?

This week has been a very important one to me to learn to stand up for myself and my work. Being young means that you are constantly learning about yourself and the world in general and you need to be able to separate the important from the unnecessary. Being mean and vain takes you nowhere and I think we should all respect each other and be kind. I believe that the good people with pure hearts will go far. I think Selena Gomez sums it up quite well: 'Kill 'em with kindness.'

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your lies are bullets, your mouth's a gun
and no war in anger was ever won
put out the fire before igniting
next time you're fighting kill 'em with kindness

Jan 10, 2016

DIFFERENT POLARITIES

The beginning of a new era is a great time to give someone or something a new possibility. After all, life is all about second chances – or in this case, fourth chances. I, Nora, once again created Tinder in a whim, but this time gathered somewhat positive results.

Some of you might remember my previous post about a year ago when I declared that Tinder and I were done and over with for good. I obviously still haven’t learnt to never say never. Still, I must admit that I don’t really know what came over me on Tuesday when around 9 p.m. I fired up How I Met Your Mother and downloaded Tinder. And the fun began.

This experience was somehow very different from the other ones. I’m not sure if I was feeling more confident or had finally owned the carpe diem attitude, but quickly the number of matches increased and even developed to casual conversations about Tuesday night’s adventures. Long story short, I had agreed on two sets of dates in one week.  

Before I dive into the details of those two very different dates I must point out what a surprise it apparently was to not just me but my friends for me to go out on a date, let alone two. A started screaming, J repeated ‘oh my God, oh my God’ and A kept saying how proud she was of me. I guess they have thought I was a completely lost cause!

The first date was beautifully set at a bar by the river Thames. It was quite romantic as a matter of fact because Christmas lights were still decorating the trees and illuminated the dark and hazy evening. He bought me a glass of white wine and we sipped our drinks outside (yes, I was freezing afterwards). He was a lovely guy and we were so similar that it was scary at times. He loved Harry Potter; I love Harry Potter. He’s a regular customer in a technology repair shop; my new phone decided to die just after days of usage. Most importantly, he accepted my admiration for Taylor Swift without a word of questioning. According to all odds, he must have been my soul mate, right?

Wrong. I came home feeling terrible about myself for not feeling anything towards him besides friendship. I was just not interested, there were no sparks whatsoever. I started going through things that made me feel like that. The first miss was for him to bring me chocolates. I mean, normally that would be such a romantic gesture but that was our first date. I wasn’t even sure how to pronounce his name properly. Once we had sat down he started making plans where we could go eat/travel/whatever. By this time I knew how to say his name but that was about it. For some reason the whole situation gave me anxiety. I couldn’t possibly nod enthusiastically when he planned a trip to Finland when I had no idea if I even fancied him. I decided that it was better to leave this behind and go on to my second date the next evening.

The setting for the next date was completely different. It took place in an underground gig in Dalston, surrounded by people who probably rocked the grunge look when they were five. It was definitely not my scene, but The New Nora embraced this with open arms. The evening already started awkwardly when we accidentally met on the same platform. This could have been turned into a ha-ha moment, but instead we walked separately to the bar where he then ‘found’ me. First miss, lack of confidence. He kept texting with people and that was a strike two right there. The gig itself was alright although it wasn’t music I regularly listen to. However, after a few drinks the conversation eased and turned from housing issues to Gossip Girl characters. All was good…until we left. The moment we stepped outside the bar we started arguing. It was sweet and innocent at first, but by the time we got out of the train we were really snapping at each other (did I mention we live in the same area? Awkward.). Peculiarly, it got to the point where 70% of me was really annoyed at him, but the rest of me really wanted him. How messed up is that?

The verdict is that I probably won’t be seeing them again. However, I am really proud of myself for experiencing these dates because, let’s be honest here, I have as much of experience as a 10-year-old when it comes to going on dates. I found it so interesting though how I ended up with two such different experiences in one weekend. One of them was sweet but lacked the fire, whereas the other was full of passion, but the guy couldn’t have been more unsuitable for me.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with Tinder and I now. I’m already noticing the first sights of boredom creeping, but I might try and hold on to it a bit longer. After all, it felt good to overcome the unknown and step into the ‘real world of dating’. If you are as unexperienced, shy and insecure as I have been, I challenge you to do something about it. Whether it happens on Tinder or in actual outside world (gasp!), just do it. However, if you choose the former, remember that those who don’t tell their height in their introduction are short. Just something to bear in mind.

Jan 9, 2016

CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

Again another week has passed just like that. It's been a rather week though I have to admit. Here's why:

 I started my internship at Look magazine. The job itself is rather simple, but still somehow fulfilling. There's five of us interns altogether and we basically have to organise the fashion cupboard and handle the returns, among other smaller - but vital - things. On Thursday some of us interns had a long discussion with one of the stylists and it was very demonstrative how the industry works and how hard it is. It made us a bit depressed since there is no money and the job itself is not stable. However, I still need to have faith that I'm not doing all this for nothing and that I will find work someday. She pressed that as long as you work hard, are humble and friendly, work will come.

My coworkers are very nice, but I haven't bonded with them just yet. For some reason I haven't been able to be my bubbly self this week and have kind of kept to myself. Obviously I talk to people, but I have concentrated doing the work the best I can. However, I have enjoyed working with them and it would be more tedious if I had to do that all by myself. Plus, I love being back in the fashion world because it is completely alright to dress up for work and so on :-)

Talking about fashion, on Tuesday I drifted - accidentally! - to Asos's sales and clicked a few nice things to my basket (pictures later). Most of them fit perfectly, but I'm going to return one of the shirts because it wasn't anyting I had expected. This is one of the reasons I don't like online shopping. I want to feel the fabric and properly try the garment on before purchasing. Luckily the return system has been made quite easy - now it's just a matter of me carrying the parcel to the post office. Also, Julia tempted me trying out this cheap-ish make up brand so when she ordered a few products to my flat - because the delivery is cheaper here than to Finland - I might have added a few things myself to the basket. The amount of products I got - or will get - at £12 was remarkable. Now I just hope that they are good. But I swear that will the end of my money spending!

I've also tried to be a vegan this week. I've succeeded alright, but not 100%. However, I was surprised how much I liked minced soya and all the vegetable based dairy products. I think I will start using them when cooking. Giving up cheese and ice cream might be a lot harder task though. I'm quite proud of myself though and am sure that I will start using more plant based products on a day to day basis.

It's been an interesting and exciting week regarding my 'love life' as well. Hold your horses though, I haven't met my Prince Charming yet. If you are curious, you might want to read my blog post at www.lovelettersandlouboutins.blogspot.com tomorrow. That's all I have to say to that one.

These images have been taken on New Year's Eve when I drew my inspiration from 90s hiphop and added just a hint of Pretty Woman to my look. I think it worked quite nicely. By the way, year 2015 ended when Ansku and I were still at the tram stop and barely noticed that it indeed was midnight. Well, whatevs. We ended up getting a sparkler from a random guy and lit it as soon as we got a lighter - like an hour later. The title, however, has been taken from a Selena Gomez song that I have been obsessed with the whole week. The whole album as a matter of fact is a pure 10.

Anyway, I've been having a chilled Saturday so far and I think I'm going to keep it up - at least until the evening arrives. Who knows what kind of magic happens then.

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can't keep my hands to myself no matter how hard i'm trying to
i want you all to myself
you're metaphorical gin and juice
so come on give me a taste of what it's like to be next you
won't let one drop go to waist
you're metaphorical gin and juice

Jan 3, 2016

OLD GAMES, OLD FLAMES, OLD SHAMES

Happy New Year 2016 everyone! I hope you have enjoyed your holidays and are relaxed enough to start this new chapter with passion and determination. I at least am trying to get back into the rhythm of writing again. The reason for my absence was initially due to the technical difficulties (i.e. me smashing my computer – by accident of course), but then extended because I momentarily lost my enthusiasm for writing. Now, however, I’m embracing the new year with a new mind set (aren’t we all?) and feel like blogging again. In addition, I have almost two hours to kill due to railway problems from Gatwick to London Bridge. It would almost be illegal to not do something reasonable during this time.

I spent my holidays in Helsinki as I did last year. While I tried to take a step back and zone off, I still magically ended up spending most of my time in social events, or, shockingly, cleaning my room. And I don’t mean just the typical vacuuming the visible surfaces. No, I’m talking about full on going through cupboards and boxes and throwing away not-so-necessary-after-all key chains circa 1999 among other things. Needless to say I’m a bit of a hoarder and get attached to things too much. I’m sure this sudden mental deviation had something to do with Christmas and just natural need of getting rid of pointless stuff, but, like I often take notice, it hid metaphors behind it.

To make you understand this, I have to explain a few things that happened during my stay in Helsinki. When I said I get attached to stuff easily, it regards people as well. I don’t know if I’m emotionally messed up, but for me it is so hard to let go of some people. I have noticed there is one person who has become extremely difficult for me to shake off for good. You know those people who just have that something that keeps pulling you in like a magnet, but you are unable to give a proper reason why it is so? Well, he is – or was? – like that to me. I’d been fighting against that pull for longer than I care to admit. However, I won that battle last year and successfully enjoyed my victory. I let myself be completely free and it was a feeling I had not felt in a long time.

Until last week, of course. After meeting him and our mutual friends in a casual drink or two (or five) I noticed something changing. There were peculiar looks, hands brushing and other signs, which were not only noticed by me but K as well. This led to a night of wondering, agonising and contemplating whether the things that had happened had actually meant something. A series of whys occupied my head. Why now? Why was I here again? Why was I so weak? And in general, why?

In the day light, like so often in life, I saw clearly. I was not ready to risk my recovery and my hard earned victory for something that was already so unstable, unsure and full of questions and problems with no sensible answers. That night would be forgotten and life would return to normal. Hence the cleaning.

See, this is where the reorganising and an urge to create a clearer atmosphere comes in. While I was ruthlessly filling plastic bags with little toys I’ve gotten from Kinder eggs, I reckon that my head was also doing spring cleaning. It was clearing from the once so important but nowadays useless stuff that essentially blur my vision. All of the pieces had a purpose, but there is a time and place to everything. They are now out of my room and thus, mind and I’m not looking back.

Why is it though that if we know all our bad habits and vices, we still hold on to them so badly? And why is it that some places and people bring out these tendencies? On this trip to Helsinki, I noticed that I partied a lot more often than I do in London. I didn’t do any exercise and spent money on food like *throwing money away*. I learnt that some of my friends returned to their teenage years even though they knew better. We know we shouldn’t, but we still do and then we feel low. I suggest that in 2016 we start the war against bad habits. It will be gruelling, but we are strong. All we need is to lay out a battle plan, pick our defences and attack at the appropriate time. Get ready, get set, conquer.

Jan 1, 2016

WE REALLY DON'T NEED LIGHT 'CAUSE WE'RE STARS TONIGHT

 I just wanted to come and say HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016! I have personally decided that this year is going to be the year. I don't know about the start though because my new phone died last night and hasn't opened since. Not the best start, but hey, that's life and there's no point in crying over that kind of stuff.

My plane to London leaves tomorrow at 7:40 a.m. and I've just finished packing. On Monday I'll start my internship and I can't wait. I will post more about this outfit most likely next week after I've settled down.

I wish everyone a happy, successful, love and joy filled year and may all your dreams come true.

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remember when you hit the breaks too soon?
twenty stiches in the hospital room
when you started crying, baby i did too
when the sun came out i was looking at you
remember when we couldn't take the heat
i walked out and said 'i'm setting you free'
the monsters turned out to be just trees
when the sun came out you were looking at me