Two weeks ago I found out that I was being criticised because of something I had written in this blog. The subject matter had been told sarcastically and with an – obviously poor – attempt of humour, but had been misunderstood as real and apparently ridiculous. After experiencing everything from confusion to anger to hurt and to sadness, I rose from the self-pity and understood that every writer has to experience their first encounter with the haters and keep on moving forward.
I would be lying if the situation hadn’t made me question my writing style and my abilities as a writer in general. Prior to the incident I had considered this particular style being my forte because of the positive comments I had received from my friends. After hearing about this I made a round of calls and confronted my friends at one a.m. their time (I do apologise) whether their feedback had been genuine and if my texts truly were enjoyable. A solid ‘yes’ is what I got.
When I was finished the interrogations, I felt confused. I knew that I would need to stand behind my writings because – my style being so personal – that would mean standing behind my own choices and experiences. I was personally proud of my texts and imagined them being an easy but a pleasant read to the audience they were aimed at. However, I also felt like I had failed and that I had been living in a false reality. Turns out in a way I had because I had been naïve to think that my texts would never receive criticism or negative comments. I guess I didn’t feel worthy enough as a writer to be talked about outside of my inner circle.
One of the people I talked to was my mother. While we were finishing, she pointed out that I didn’t really sound as depressed or upset that I had let her believe in the beginning. I realised then that I really wasn’t. As a matter of fact, I realised that I was damn proud of what I have created, experienced and lived through – be it in this blog or elsewhere in life. I realised I am someone who isn’t a dating guru or an expert, who doesn’t know everything about life, love or fashion, and who sometimes wonders the most random, pointless and supposedly deep things and says them out loud. Because someone has to.
The word that kept coming to me that week was ‘truth’. As I’m studying to be a journalist I essentially need to tell the truth. I realise that sometimes it can be subjective and is best to let untold, but when it comes to real life stuff and essentially to a normal girl living her life there is no point sugar coating it. The world gets enough photoshopped, dramatized or staged images, both in television and ‘reality’ shows and platforms based on ordinary people (blogs, Instagram, Twitter, etc.). I don’t know about you, but I’m craving for a more honest and open site or an app that isn’t concealed with advertisements, double filters and #myLifeIsPerfect tags. This applies to both images, but in this blog particular, the written content.
We all know life isn’t perfect. We get stood up, we feel alone, we eat two donuts in a row, we miss our tube, we get writer’s block, we feel like we don’t fit in, we buy fashion magazines for £20 but end up watching Netflix instead. You’ve probably been there and I want you to know that I have as well – last week as a matter of fact. I am not perfect and for some reason I find it really important to say it out loud in here. Because one day an insecure 14-year-old might find this blog and feel low for not having a boyfriend, or been able to get over her ex, or feeling alone on her birthday, I want her to know that there once was a girl who in her twenties was still struggling to find that Mr. Right and who indeed felt alone on her birthday. And that all that was fine and she survived and so would she.
I won’t deny that hearing criticism didn’t bring me down. It did at first, but the final result was worth it. I now feel more confident of what I’m doing and I know I will be a better writer because of it. I am here to hopefully inspire, entertain and in the best case scenario help you, but if everything else fails, I will tell how badly my date went and we can all laugh together. Besides, the greatest lesson in life is that haters are always going to hate (hate hate hate), but we just have to shake (shake shake shake) it off.
PS. Earlier this week I received my first comment in this blog who wasn’t a friend of mine. It made me really happy so I want to thank you for reading Love, Letters and Louboutins.