Apr 19, 2016


Uni started yesterday and it went surprisingly smoothly, although we were all exhausted when the day finished. I was absolutely drained, which was interesting as I had just worked from nine to five for four months. I ended up going to bed already at 10 p.m. and it was lovely.

Last year this time the term was dedicated to group work and this year is no exception. I was dreading what group I would be put into, as the horrors of last year were still vividly in my brain. However, I got a vey good group and I am hopeful that this year the group work will go smoothly. In addition to the group work and the mandatory academic essay we get each term, we also have to write a proposal for our dissertation (kandi) and hold a presentation preparing for our final major project next year. I had not expected these, but instead had planned to take this term a bit easier. That will not be happening unfortunately.

However, I was in a very positive mood yesterday. I got a great group, met my friends I had missed so much, went walking in the evening, talked with my mum and sister, and the best of all, bought a cheap gym membership and that gym is basically right around the corner. Perfect, eh? Well, today Morning I woke up naturally already around 7:20 a.m. and decided to head to the gym. I walked there with a broad smile on my face because the sun was shining and life was just great. I got there, typed the entrance code, missed the 'OK' button three times and ended up suspending my code because I am just so stupid. Soooooooooooooooooooooo annoying. Now I have to call them and hopefully somehow get it unsuspended. What a GREAT start for the day. Well, at least I got my CV updated and blogged. I was supposed to do those after the gym, but well, when life throws you lemons, breakout the tequila and salt! Or update the CV, whatever works for you.

Today the plan is to somehow actually make it to the gym, chill, go to uni (Tuesday evenings are now dedicated to lectures...) and go see a movie with Emma. She has a 2 for 1 ticket for Tuesdays and Wednesdays so the tickets are £3. That means party time! (party=being quiet in a dark room)


we're so bored, we're all so tired of everything
we wait for changes that just aren't coming
we show off our different scarlet letters
trust me mine is better

Apr 17, 2016


It is a fact that my blog always runs a few weeks late. For example, these images are from mine and Aliisa's road trip around southern Finland two weeks ago.

The idea of just driving around and listening to music came to me a month prior. I definitely wanted to do it before I left. The major reason was to satistfy my need for driving before I couldn't do it for months and the minor reason was to see some of Finland's countryside. The weekend we picked randomly turned out to be beautifully sunny and warm so it was indeed a perfect day for a road trip.

I picked Aliisa up around 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Our plan was to drive to Tampere without using Google Maps but regular, an actually made-of-paper map. That didn't really pan out as I already got lost when I was picking her up. How - that is beyond me, but it still happened. Aliisa was way more on top of the navigation game so I was glad the driving was left to me. We turned the playlist on and hit the road towards Tampere.

The idea was to visit interesting looking places (were they to appear) and kind of act spontaneously. So we drove to this mountain that ended up having an entrance feed so we didn't actually enter the place. But we saw the parkinglot! Then we stopped by a lake that was breathtaking. The ice had started to crack and melt, the air was crisp and everywhere was so quiet. It was beautiful.

After reaching Tampere - eventually - we walked up and down the main street. We didn't really have another plan except to have lunch there so that is what we ended up doing. While we were waiting for the food, we examined the map again. Since it was only around two p.m., we decided to drive some place random because, well, why not. Our target became this small town/village/place/house called Mutta, solely picked by its name (mutta=but in Finnish). So we ate our burgers and headed to Mutta.

We're not entirely sure what Mutta was, because we ended up driving to someone's property (thanks Google). Maybe it was that area, maybe it wasn't, but we can now declare having visited Mutta. On our way back we stopped by a field, took some pictures on an empty road (seriously, not a single car in 20 minutes) and, through a detour, headed back to Helsinki.

While we were driving back, I felt incredibly happy. I was driving with my best friend, singing from the top of my lungs, looking at the most amazing skyline I had seen in a while. It was one of those happy moments that I would never change for anything. I think that's what life is about: making memories with your loved ones. Even if those memories include invading someone's yard and doing x-jumps in heels on a field.


now all the lights are flashing gold
nobody cares how fast we go
our soundtrack's on the stereo, the DJ's on a roll

Apr 16, 2016


I'm back in London, babes.

The journey here was once again... a pain would be an understatement. The flight went perfectly and for once there was a straight train connection from Gatwick to London Bridge and the ticket was cheap as well. So far everything was good. About halfway the train journey, the conductor announced that someone had hit by a train so we would need to take a detour. Well, that detour ended up taking like two or so hours. By the time I got home it was almost 1 p.m. and I had travelled longer inside this stupid city than between the two countries. Sometimes I get the feeling that London despises me.

However, now everything is good. I've rested and unpacked. I don't know if I've informed you before, but I rented my room to another Finn when I was in Helsinki. She was supposed to leave when I got back, but since she only needed to stay six more weeks, we agreed that she could stay in my room, and Nati and I would share hers. This way we can save money and test how it would be to live in a same room, since we are planning to do that for the next year (maybe, possibly. We might kill each other, but that's why we are testing this :-D). That's why unpacking was interesting this time, since I had to find space for my stuff in a different room already filled with belongings. It definitely wasn't the easiest task and half of my clothes are still in bags and boxes, but I guess they have to remain like that for a while.

So today the time that I haven't been sitting in a plane or a train, I've been lying on a couch. I started watching The Big Bang Theory (oh my adoration for 20 minute sit-coms) and read an Agatha Christie book from cover to cover. This has felt GREAT because I haven't had a full-on lay-in in, umm, three months. Unfortunately I can't stay home the whole day because I need to go meet and greet my friend to celebrate both her birthday and engagement. I hope I didn't forget to pack my party mood.

One of the things I have done - besides watching BBT - was going through some of my favourite fashion blogs. The work and social schedule I had in Helsinki really made me lose all touch of that side of the world. Weirdly, I became very self-conscious of my own blog after doing so. Now perusing those blogs I realised how professional those are. The bloggers all wear fabulous I-really-want-all-of-those designer clothes. And they pose nicely. And the quality of their photos is impeccable. And all my clothes are stupid and I probably don't even know how to dress and I'm just fooling myself of thinking that I could be fashionable. I want to be a pretty blogger too who has a new pair of Manolos and Nine West shoes each month. Why is my blog and life so boring and not filled with clothes (although my flatmate might argue against that - the clothes part, I mean)?

It feels a bit ridiculous to show one of my outfits now that I have self-pitied a whole paragraph. Anyway, this is my triple denim look with a crisp shirt and super simple black ankle boots that my sister have that were sold out and I wanted them so badly I could have cried. However, those boots are H&M so it's not like they would have really solved my I-want-designer-shoes dilemma.

Anyway, it's time for pasta (hi, carbs!) (that's literally the only thing I have right now - grocery shopping, anyone?) and another episode of BBT. Right now life is great (even if I don't get a new pair of Louboutins each month - yet, at least).


let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time
that we might be exactly like we were before we realised
we were sad of getting old, it made us restless

Apr 12, 2016


This outfit became my favourite last week so I decided to wear the exact same one yesterday (never happens). I guess it's the Ben Hogan hat that makes the otherwise plain and simple outfit more exciting. I feel like Anna Stern from the O.C. when I walk around in that hat.

For some reason I feel really nerdy - in a good way - in this look. So I decided to team it up with Cassandra Clare's Lady Midnight, the first novel from the Dark Artificies series. I finished that 668 page baby on Sunday and I can say it was FANTASTIC. First, the cover is magical. Second, the plot made me scream 'Oh My GAWD' and run back and forth in our flat. Totally worth carrying it around Helsinki all the time. I bet I looked even nerdier with it. Mission accomplished, then.

I can't believe I only have three (!!!) more days at Cosmopolitan and then I'm off to London for eight months. My plan is not to come back to Finland before Christmas, but we'll see. There's still so much to do, like packing for instance, but I feel like time is running out again. I bet I'll end up throwing stuff into the suitcase around 11 p.m. on Friday, but hey, that's what happens almost every single time. My flight leaves too early on Saturday and until then I am extremely busy. I'll update when I'm back in London town. I am happy to go back, I must admit.


space is just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close

Apr 10, 2016


Eighteen months I had suffered
When my soul had cruelly been shattered
To recover the loss of thee, I wondered
Was it even possible indeed?

The gloomy March day entered
With nothing but sorrow and deprivation
But alas, was that hope I saw, I prayed
Would my heart ever be whole again?

It glowed in the darkness
Trapped from the world of love and care
My fingers brushed the skin of blackness
So tender it was, so sweet I couldn’t bear

It was relatively cheap and pretty
And I thought “Iik, I’m feeling gitty”
I knew I had found The One
To better the ache thou had done

I got myself a leather jacket
For I thought it would never happen
I can’t believe it finally is mine
And I can’t help but smile

Apr 3, 2016


Last Saturday I attended a small get-together. I didn’t really know anyone and my plan was pretty much to get there, say a quick hello, then quietly vanish into thin air and go home and sleep. However, the moment I walked through the door my eyes found someone I knew. Or knew of. Or rather had read of. Or rather was someone who played a character that I had read of. He was a real replica of Jamie Dornan, the man who plays Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades of Grey films.

Needless to say that it immediately sparked my interest. Obviously, being a twin with Mr. Dornan, he was quite good looking. More than that, however, I was genuinely astonished how anyone could look that similar with someone. I confirmed with M that I wasn’t crazy, that he really was a spitting image of the actor. So when the others started playing drinking games, I moved to the lounge to find out whether he was anything like him (and I’m not talking about fifty shades of fucked up here).
Well, let’s just say that he wasn’t exactly like him (might have been a good thing), but we got along really well. We talked about hockey, religion, relationship and the upbringing of kids these days. We both agreed that iPads for toddlers was a bad idea. I was surprised how easy it was to speak to him and quite impressed as well – most of the guys I’d talked to didn’t carry on a conversation about religion as easily as he did, especially it being one of the first subjects we talked about.
Long story short, I got his number from M and texted him two days later just to say that it was nice talking to him the other day. Well, it’s been a week and I’m still waiting for him to reply. Actually, I take that back. I would be waiting if I cared enough. Caring has, once again, turned into what-the-freaking-F-I-don’t-get-men feeling.
I know I ranted a few weeks ago how talking to men and showing some interest in them was getting me nowhere. Then I was just utterly confused and even angry, but now after the cool down I have come up with a theory. I think that when women seem interested and make the first move that isn’t related to sex, men get scared because they think that women are desperately looking for a relationship and that would mean commitment. Or they are afraid that if they say yes to a date, things get more complicated if it doesn’t work out so better just leave it. How little do they know that not everyone’s intention is to plan the wedding on the first date.
The same thing happened yesterday when I was having drinks with A. We were sitting in the bar and got talking with the bartender who was serving us. A gave him her number when we left and after exchanging three text messages, she asked him for a coffee. That was today morning and he hasn’t replied. It’s been almost 12 hours and I am quite safe to say that he pulled a Christian Grey on her.
Pulling a Christian Grey is a new term A and I invented. It has nothing to do with the actual character, but in fact refers to the guy I met. The term essentially means ignoring the man/woman who made the first move before even giving an opportunity to get to know him/her. How this differs from ghosting that has been the newest word to our dictionary is that in ghosting you have gone out with the person at least once. Basically there has been a chance of getting to know him/her before determining that you are not interested. Other than that it is really similar: the person rudely ignores your contact efforts.
There is no point of trying to explain to yourself that ‘maybe he’s been busy’, ‘maybe he hasn’t seen the text’ or ‘maybe he was so interested in you the first moment he saw you that he got scared’. No, no excuses. Accepting the fact that you were Christian Greyd as soon as possible will make you move on quicker. And maybe someday, hopefully, the real Christian Grey will come to your life. Without the whips and canes, of course.
Unless that’s what you like.


Being an intern is an interesting time. You work as hard or almost as hard as the people you work with and don't really get any compensation. Sometimes the travel costs are paid and the luckiest ones get some money. Still, however, we do it because we have to, and I must admit that it has taught me a lot. Now I have noticed though that even if the employers can't pay us with money, they can pay with products. For example, my makeup and hair product collection has increased a lot. As much as I would love to get paid - I mean, who wouldn't? - I do think that this compensation is quite alright because beauty products can be infamously expensive.

For the past few months I have been given a few really cool things from work. Here are some of them.

blushes, lipsticks, eyeliners, nail polishes, foundations...
this yellow lipstick is quite fantastic. It's not really yellow, but it gives the lips some shimmer while they stay in their natural colour.
I was so excited when I got this white eyeliner because it was so exotic. I've tried it on a few times and it is literally so cool. I love that it's so quirky.

baby i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
i love cheap thrills
i don't need no money as long as i can hear the beat

Apr 2, 2016


Meet my new hair, folks!

So on Thursday I did something quite unexpected. I highlighted my hair in pink, peach and blonde, which is definitely something I have never done before. It took three and a half hours to complete this and I think my hair dresser was as, or even more, excited of this project as I was. We were both really pleased with the outcome and I am so happy my vision worked!

I got this idea around October and since then I've been waiting for a perfect timing for me to do this. I swear though, I should become a some kind of a hair trend forecaster. Last time I decided to cut my hair, every other celebrity started doing the same. And this time, I had made up my mind in October, like I said, and in the beginning of this year four celebrities dyed their hair pink :-D This is a gift, guys. Not sure if it's a useful one, but a gift is a gift.

Today Aliisa and I are taking a road trip around Finland. Well, not around, but we are driving to Tampere at least. I baked some carrot cookies, we'll have music and everything shall be perfect.


here's my body that i'm giving to us
here's my arms that'll hold us up
here's my life dedicated to love
i try to give you everything you deserve
and i can't promise that it's going to be fine
but here i am if you're ready to try

Apr 1, 2016


I went to the hair dresser yesterday and stayed there for over three hours. I promise to show you pictures soon, but I can say already that I love my new hair and it's a bit more adventurous than ever before. :-)

Last year around this time I cut my long locks to a short bob and put on super light blonde highlights. I had gotten my inspiration from one of my main fashion icons Lily Collins. At the time she had a slightly over-grown bob with a middle parting. The look was sleeked and the hair was pulled behind the ears. This image was painted in my brain for year and a half until I finally did the transformation.

I had her hair style for a year, but I never took a comparison picture - or actually did my hair like Lily had, which had been my intention all along. Until two weeks before my yesterday's hair dresser appointment I finally took the picture and here it is.
photo from weheartit.com

yeah i want to tell everyone that you are, you are my only one
screaming at the top of my lungs but i'm whispering
i'm whispering, i'm whispering 'cause i don't wanna jinx it