Jun 22, 2016

SOME CHICKS ROCK

This past week has been insane times 12038203329. Work in the pub has really taken off. At first they cancelled one of my shifts and sent me home because  they had too much staff - the next thing I work 50 hours in five days. Needless to say I am knackered and my rhytm in life is compeltely messed up. I've been eating like shit (excuse my language) because I get home around 1 a.m., don't have any food and stores are closed so I end up eating like McDonalds etc. and I sleep too little or too late. Yesterday I was enjoying a day off...

...or 'enjoying' might be a wrong term for that. I woke up late and spent some time in my bed (check Bad Education, such a funny show!) before I started packing and doing laundry. The move is finally happening, and let me tell you something, it has been an interesting but all in all an incredibly stressful experience. Last time I was at least moving out with Nati so I had one shoulder to lean on, but this time around we are going are separate ways (solely for budget reasons) so I've been on it all on my own. A learning curve, definitely, but also a situation that has lifted my stress levels close to the atmosphere. Now everything should be under control and I will be able to move in on July 3rd. However, since our contract end this Saturday, I'm going to live with Emma for the remaining week. This move has included so much organising, scheduling and fumbling that I don't ever want to experience this ever again. I will share the whole moving story once I have actually settled down in the new flat, but if you want a summary of how the hunt, click here.

Yesterday evening our girls came over for the last time and we had a little slumber party. I made lemon and shrimp pasta (yammy), guacamole and hummus (yammy x 2) and baked rasberry and coconut muffins (yammy x 7104290). We had so much fun, as Then we woke up too early to go to uni pick up our work and later during the day got our grades back. I did surprisingly well (average B+) although I wasn't expecting much since I knew I hadn't really made an effort this term. After uni we headed to check out Mel's cosy new flat, I prepared a killer brunch for my girls and we basically had a food choma and wacthed a few episodes of Sex and the City (Mel is Carrie, Nati Miranda, Emma Samantha and I Charlotte. Although Nati thinks I'm Samantha without the crazy sex life...).

I am so lucky to have such amazing friends here in London. My life would be terrible without them. It's so funny because with all of them the first time I really spoke with them I felt the click and the rest is history. It took a while for the group to take its true form, but now it's stronger than ever. I think it's rare to find people who are so different, yet so similar and who each have their own place in the group but who similarly are a vital part of it. So yay for friendships!

I'm still going to go out dancing today although I am quite tired and not finished with packing. But yolo and stuff. Have a good one, peeps.

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the world can be a nasty place
you know it, i know
we don't have to fall from grace
put down the weapons you fight with and kill em with kindness

Jun 19, 2016

THE HUNT

House hunting on a budget in London is as difficult as finding a man there (especially if you study fashion). There are plenty of options, sure, but unless you want to end up in a single room (no pun intended) with a moulded ceiling and a mouse situation, you’ll notice that the task can seem quite desperate.

Earlier this year N and I decided – or were forced to, thanks to those budget issues – move out from our, sort of, lovely basement flat. Our initial plan was to find something together because we really enjoyed living together. It almost felt like it was a relationship of sort; at one point we were laughing, the next shouting at each other, but always ready to work things out because it was worth fighting for. We contemplated between a studio, two available rooms in the same shared flat, and even halls, but ended up doing our own research as it eventually became more attainable.

So this is the reason why I have been running frantically from a viewing to another for the past weeks. In order to save money and thus have a life of some sort, I’ve been looking for a room in a shared flat instead of an actual place of my own. I’ve phoned and emailed from one landlord to the next, and as a result seen some great and some absolutely-no-way rooms. There indeed was a ceiling that was covered in moulded spots, which looked like a contaminated field. There was also a room with, indeed, a rodent problem. And that was the “penthouse” for only £600 a month. Good on paper, horrid in real life. No thanks.

I did make two offers in the beginning of the week, but they both fell through. The other one was close to perfection but ultimately too expensive and the other one had a slight shady touch to it as no contract would have been made. As a Finn, whose dad went to law school, I know that that could have led to some serious risks. However, in a time of urgent need, I was ready to settle for what I was getting. I now take the fell through as a sign from above, proving me once again that it wasn’t the answer.

And this is where I apply real estates to relationships. I know you know my motto by now, but let me just repeat one more time: I will not settle. Be it relationships or bad flats, if it’s crap, you’ll soon enough end up feeling like crap. However, in the case of apartments I must say that having a roof on top of your head is more important than finding The One Flat because God knows how long that’s going to take. But waiting or going on dates (that turn out awful and then you ditch them) might – and hopefully will – get you there eventually. This text is not about celibacy or anything like that (seriously, no), but about knowing yourself and trusting your intuition. Is this going to make me happy in the long run? Am I willing to accept the risks that a tainted home or relationship will create?

However, we all know that perfection doesn’t exist. That’s why I decided to make an offer to a room that was a bit far away from uni and that’s move in date was slightly later than I would have wanted. But the feeling I got when I saw the place – warm, excited, promising – is worth the extra trouble, thus making it the best possible option for me.

And that’s all I want from a relationship – to make me feel like I’m home.

Jun 14, 2016

MAKE SENSE, NOT WAR

The past year has been such a horrible one if you look at the state of our current world. It truly baffles me how much hatred one planet can contain. I don't want to be afraid, and Nati has been telling me that one can't live in fear for her whole life, but right now I feel like anything can happen. My condolences are with all the souls recently lost in Orlando, and elsewhere, of course. Why can't we all just love each other and get along? I love the graffitti in Suvilahti that says "Make sense, not war". Sensible, eh? I wish the world worked like that.

Events like these make me feel so idiotic for having ever complained about anything. For stressing so much over school or findng a flat (although a roof on top of your head is quite important) feels like a waste. Why is it that I always wake up from this trance when a tragedy hits?

So today I've tried enjoying life fully. I went to a viewing (fingers crossed), spend time with Mel, found a cute café in Camden and immersed myself in writing and then came home to watch some quality (not) TV. It made me laugh and that was the goal.

I'll get back to you hopefully tomorrow with some more joyful content. Until then.

P.S. Some pictures from April, which I found from random folder. Cool hood, am I right?

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i was so foolish on some stupid shit
should've never let you out no no
knowing that you left messes with my head
shadows of you haunt me now

Jun 8, 2016

I WILL REMEMBER HOW YOU KISSED ME

*this post includes spoilers from the movie Me Before You*

Yesterday was a day of feelings. I went to see the long anticipated film Me Before You that is based on a book by Jojo Moyes. I was one of the people really looking forward to this film as I had read the book like a year and a half ago. Already then it had moved me deeply - I remember speaking about it in this blog as well. It's marketed as a love story with a pink and super-duper romantic cover, but it is a lot more than that. It is essentially an obstrusive novel of quadriplegia and all the hardships, feelings and extra baggage it brings in addition to being a discussion of euthanasia.

Lately there's been more and more talk about euthanasia whether it is morally right or not. I can easily see the both sides of this: I wouldn't want anyone to suffer or live their life as a 'vegetable' (to put it in a very, very terrible way), but I wouldn't want to be the responsible of essentially killing someone. I can't even begin to understand how incredibly hard, lonely, frustrating and unfair it must feel to be chained in a chair for the rest of your life. Heck, I don't even know if those are feelings quadriplegics are experiencing. However, I do want to believe that happiness could be found in a such a difficult situation if one just wants to look for it. Because life happens and sometimes you aren't able to control it, but you still must keep fighting against the dying of the light, as Dylan Thomas puts it.

I guess that is what hit me the most when I was watching the film. Louisa had done everything for Will to feel loved, cherised and happy and showed him that life can get better even though his disability will always be the third partner in the relationship. As someone who really wants to believe that love always wins, it was really bitter to accept that it still wasn't the life he wanted - or wanted to give her.

As I was walking away from the cinema, faced stained with teardrops, I felt this odd feeling inside me. The weather reflected my mood perfectly; the sky was grey, the air was pressing from the early stages of thunder and lightning, and drops of water were starting to fall down from the sky. They blended in with the ones I had shed for the past hour. I was thinking how life can be so unexpected, so unfair and yet so...wonderful. To be able to feel such deep emotions, such as unconditional joy and sorrow, is, in my opinion, a proof that you are alive. In fact, that was the last message Will gave to Louisa: 'Just live.' Because living is something that we shouldn't take for granted, but I know for a fact that I do way too often.

p.s. I don't think I'll never be able to listen to Ed Sheeran without crying, thanks to this film. Okay who am I kidding, all Ed's songs make me cry anyway.

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i know i've linked this song here way too many times, but i just can't help myself. and the music video is so beautiful as well.



loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
but it is the only way that i know
when it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
it is the only way to make us feel alive

Jun 7, 2016

SPRING CLEANING

I told you about the excessive cleaning I did for my room and eventually for the entire flat the other day, didn't I? Inspired by that, and having been eating terribly thanks for the stress, I decided to do a full-on cleanse for my body as well.

The past four weeks were a real ordeal for my body. I didn't care what or how much I put in to me. The amounts of sugar, fat (and not the good kind), and food additives were making me feel both physically and emotionally sick, but still I got the feeling that I couldn't stop, or worse, didn't want to stop. I've watched enough documentaries to know that that is the exact goal food industry is trying to achieve and so often they do succeed (just take a quick look at obesity rates). I've learnt, although not yet assimilated 100%, that (processed) sugar is a drug. It is sad, shocking and horrible how people from the young age get addicted, myself included.

So after putting my body through - literally - shit for the past month, I decided it was time for a cleanse. I will not do a proper detox diet because I find it to be extremely difficult and expensive. However, for this week I will eat only foods that are in a liquid form or if they are solid (like nuts, seeds, soy yogort) they have to be plant based. I will also make my food myself from scratch as I want to avoid those additives as much as possible (excluding the soy products - don't have the time or the knowledge to start making yogort). I went to Tesco on Sunday and bought a bunch of veggies, fruits and berries and I'm ready for some cleansing! I must clarify that this diet is only for a week and I will share with you how I felt after the week is done. So here's my food diary from today:


BREAKFAST
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My day starts with some soy yogort that is topped with chia and pumpkin seeds and pine nuts. I fell in love with soy products around a year ago and since then haven't really liked eating normal yogort again. I love that it's not too sweet and it is really fullfilling. My favourite is Alpro's Coconut, but I can only eat it when I'm in Finland as I haven't found it here anywhere.

I learnt to eat chia seeds around year and a half ago when I watched this documentary about clean eating. Apparently they have loads of fiber and protein in them so they are a naturally good substitute for meat.

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I also drink a huge mug of green tea in the morning as it refreshers me. Particularly drinking green tea has a ton of good health benefits (or so they say) as it lowers your cholestrol and prevents getting a stroke. It also helps you to lose weight, or so they say.


LUNCH
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As I'm trying not to eat any solid foods (unless they are plants), my lunch consists of soups. Today I had a sweet potato soup with coconut milk (made it once with Julia and it was delicious). It doesn't look that tempting, but I assure you it tasted lovely. I love sweet potatos, they are one of my favourite root vegetables. And for once I like something that's actually healthy for me because apparently one sweet potato contains your daily dose of A-vitamin and fibre. This soup is surprisingly filling.


SNACK
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Before going to the gym today (after a four week break I was dying) I had a banana. Because bananas are the best.


DINNER
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My dinner today was solid. I chopped a carrot, half a red pepper and a cellery stick and ate them with homemade hummus to get some protein and carbohydrates after the gym.

Let me tell you something. I consider myself as an omnivore - I eat almost anything. I don't necessarily like all the things I eat, but I don't have deeper issues with them. However, there are three foods (excluding intestines) that I loathe and can't really eat without feeling that I want to throw up. These are cellery, coriander and parsley. Yes, you read right, the three plants that are supposed to be the most healthiest for you. Cellery uses more calories to digest than it gives you so basically you are losing weight while eating it. Parsley, on the other hand, protects your liver and bowel from cancer and also removes toxics. And then there is coriander that basically cleans your intestine due to the addition of bowel fluid. I have tried my hardest of liking them, but I just don't grow used to them. Cellery still goes down with hummus, but otherwise...I am, however, forcing myself to eat them this week - after all, this is all about getting those toxins out of my system. But I won't be sad when this week is over.


SNACK
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So tonight for snack (and yesterday for dinner) I made a smoothie. Today I mixed together a grapefruit, two apricots, strawberries, a kiwi and, unfortunately, coriander. It made it essentially taste like vomit and I had trouble of getting it down. I didn't end up using almond milk as the natural fruit juice made it liquid enough.

Yesterday, however, I attempted making a green smoothie for supper. I added lettuce, a kiwi, half a courgette, parsley, coriander, half an avocado and almond milk, and blended it all. It tasted vile. It honestly took me two hours to drink it as the 'beverage' tasted nothing but parsley. Gross. The only good thing was that it was healthy as no other because it contained a ton of vitamins and fibre.

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The end result. Yammmmmmmm..........

It sounds like I'm not enjoying this, but that isn't the case. I do feel more energised already and my skin looks better I think. However, I can't say I'm enjoying these drinks (mainly because I really detest those green herbs...), but I might not have found the right recepies yet. I have more veggies and berries in my fridge so let's see what tomorrow brings....







everyone welcome to my funeral
everyone i know better be wasted
you know i would pour one up 
because the way i lived it was amazing

Jun 5, 2016

ESSENTIALS

The first six months of this year was apparently dedicated to updating my wardrobe's essentials. The first purchase was the leather jacket and I assume that it doesn't need any explenations. The second one I received from Asos on Friday when a not-so-friendly postman delivered it to my doorstep. The package revealed a basic with a twist, black clutch that I don't think I've ever own. It is interesting though - being a fashion person, I do have a lousy collection of essentials at my hands. Well, at least now I have a bag that will go with everything, no matter the occasion.

I'm quite close finishing my presentation for tomorrow. I must say, if the tutors don't like the content, they better appreciate the visuals. I've tried my hardest to make it look appealing to the eye. Anyway, finishing that sucker now - s'laters!

ps. Check my pom pom shoes as well! Got them from Boohoo a while ago, but I still haven't had a chance to wear them. Love 'em though!

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ooh it's something magical
it's in the air, it's in my blood, it's rushing on
i don't need no reason, don't need control
i fly so high, no ceiling, when i'm in my zone

Jun 4, 2016

I NEED THE BEACH

Good Friday, everyone!

I have just (well, seven hours ago) handed in my essay that I magically managed to write after all. This hand in is one of the five we have this term. I cannot express hard enough how much I want to be done with this year.

A lot has happened for the past few days. First of all, I received my order from Asos today. So far I haven't tried anything on yet, but if they fit like I hope they will, I will have some really cool things to show you. Some of you might wonder how I'm going to pay for these shenanigans - and trust me, I asked the same question up until yesterday - but today it was confirmed that I will become a bartender! In short, I got a part time job from this pub right at Piccadilly. The location is perfect as I will start my WWD internship in the same area in a month. I am so excited to start working as it will mean money and purpose in my life :-D

So the summer is starting to look quite exciting. I will go to Nice with Jenni and Birta in August (seriously can't contain myself!!!) and Jaakko is visiting me in July. I have my income and experience in my future profession set and I'm going to see DNCE with Emma and Jackson in August. There is one hyper exciting thing happening in September, but I will have to get back to you on that... Now I only need to start feeling like summer... So sun, I don't think anyone would mind if you decided to show yourself. I can't believe it is so warm in Finland and like 15 degrees max here in London.

The only thing growing dark clouds in the horizon is the fact that Nati and I still haven't found a place where to stay next year. Our move should happen in 20 days and well, time is running out once again. I think we have now officially settled in finding rooms in flatshares in order to save money, but since we want to stay together, it has raised the bar of finding anything suitable (read: cheap and fab). The main issue is that the rooms are all available now and we can't obviously move in yet or otherwise we would have paid rent here for no reason. Well, I'm certain we'll find something, but it's just one of those things that bump my stress levels to the sky.


edit: I fell asleep and continued writing the next day.


So hehe I fell asleep and when I was able to drag myself out of the comfort of my bed, I started to perform a proper spring cleaning. I don't think I've ever cleaned this rigurously in my life. One of the reasons was that my 'tenant' left earlier this week and, well, let's just say that she and I didn't share the same definition of tidiness. In addition, I ended up scrubbing the toilet on top of sweeping the floors, doing the dishes and tons and tons of laundry. I even surprised myself when I washed my duvets and pillows as well. Talk about dedication, eh?

After cleaning for three hours straight (zzz) I decided to start watching Love, Rosie movie, starring Lily Collins (I seriously have a girl crush on her) and Sam Claflin. I must say, it is one of the best chick flicks I have seen in a loooooong time. As a matter of fact, it's so good that this was the second time I saw it and I also started reading the book that it is based on. I don't know, I think I prefer the movie - Cecilia Ahern's books are always just missing that one thing that makes the book brilliant.

I can't believe my eyes - it's almost 5 pm??? Today has gone by so quickly and so far I haven't managed to do that much. Yaiks, it will be a long night then because I really need to get everything done for my presentation so that I can put it together tomorrow. Four more hand ins to go...

These pictures are from my first day in Scotland when Mari and I took a train to Ayr and to this beach. It was the only proper day when the sun was out the whole day and burnt so warmly. We both didn't sleep much the previous night so after walking along the strand for a while, we found a quiet spot where to lay and enjoy the sun - and close our eyes for a moment. It was a perfect way to start my adventures in the Highlands.

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time for me to move up
so many hours have gone
heart beats the pump of my blood
no strings for you to pull on